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Jan-Malte

Jan-Malte is a guy, typically looking for a German guy (blonde hair and the most beautiful eyes). You can usually find Jan-Malte sleeping, plazing with animals or doing German things like drinking beer. He is a crazy good cook, but be careful because when he is cooking you are not allowed to touch anything in the kitchen. Anyway, the only thing you really want to touch is him because Jan-Malte is a hottie. He is mostly a laid back guy who you can enjoy life with.
Someone is sleeping there, it must be Jan-Malte.
by gabsyy January 8, 2025
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Jan-Malte

Jan-Malte is a guy, typically looking for a German guy (blonde hair and the most beautiful bluish eyes). You can usually find Jan-Malte sleeping, playing with animals or doing German things like drinking beer. He is a crazy good cook, but be careful because when he is cooking you are not allowed to touch anything in the kitchen. Anyway, the only thing you really want to touch is him because Jan-Malte is a hottie. He is mostly a laid back guy who you can enjoy life with.
who is that hottie sleeping there? It must be Jan-Malte
by gabsyy January 8, 2025
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Dirty Malte

Dirty Malte

A sexual fetish where those bleeding from the anus experience a heightened orgasm while receiving anal sex and watching videos of Greta Thunberg’s climate change speech at the UN.
Woman - Babe my ass is bleeding… can you give me a Dirty Malte?

Man - I’d love to give you a Dirty Malte babe!
by Straya11 February 7, 2025
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Puckering Maltesers

The act of shiting oneself in fear so much that you can't retain control of your asshole and so little globs of malteser shaped poo come out uncontrollably.
Manchester United are puckering maltesers at the prospect of playing Manchest City today.
by SebilCrostar August 7, 2025
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Cruciball of maledicsuckin

Proper terminology for the GAYEST ability in dawn of war soulstorm. thankfully its only used by the weakest race in the game, the dark eldar.

Why is it so retardedly gay? Because it makes infantry squads stop what their doing and attack themselves, and it can be cast 2 times if the dark eldar player has enough soul energy.

This means in early t2-t3 you may lose half your infantry as they murderfuck themselves thanks to the cruciball of maledicsuckin.
Aw fuck there goes my warp spiders, 2 squads GONE cause of IMBA cruciball of maledicsuckin! Bg im out folks!
by Fugly cuckling April 28, 2021
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Pop a Malteser

To kill oneself using means of drugged sweets
To avoid a problem

A man gives you slightly warm maltesers and you question why they are warm

When you’re tired of a situation, the option is there
Ah yeah, Johnny, did you not hear? He popped a malteser last week

This coffee shop makes me wanna pop a malteser
by Barney_the_dinosaur November 23, 2021
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the sloppy maltese

When you giving yo girl head, but your head is.. her head? And then you make out but with your butts.
yooooooo, I gave Elishica The Sloppy Maltese the other day and she said "hey where tf did my head go SHIT HOW'D IT GET ON YUOR BODY D:"
by anonymous April 23, 2022
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