alternative mounds of joy

Refers to any of a girl's "sumptuous 'n' squeezable" bulges of pliable muscle-tissue other than her boobs or butt --- specifically, her shoulders, bicepses, and calves. The theory is that even if a soft-flesh-craving dude cannot acceptably access any "T&A" on his present female companion --- either because she prefers a more platonic relationship or they're presently in too public a setting for him to be able to touch her intimately --- he can still at least partially alleviate his raging "kneadable protoplasm" desires by filling his thirsting hands with these other "delicacies" instead.

Horny stud: Tiffany and I haven't talked about "taking it to the next level" yet, but I get the feeling that she would prefer to remain just at "second base" for the time being, so I think I'll just stick to massaging and caressing her alternative mounds of joy for now... hey, she's totally got delightfully warm and doeskin-soft flesh all over, so I feel satisfied and honored just being allowed access to even that much.

by QuacksO February 1, 2017

alternative anonymous meetings

Refers to the more light-hearted/trivial-affliction-related (i.e., non-substance-abuse or other serious-addiction-type condition) gatherings of sufferers where everyone shares life-stories and fellowship, and tries to assist each other in reducing/alleviating said unfortunate conditions/infirmities. Examples would include Belchers Anonymous (at all the other meetings listed here, they serve you tasty carbonated drinks, but at this meeting, you only get non-fizzy libation so that you won't start burping!), Bellyachers Anonymous, Colliders Anonymous (for folks who often clumsily blunder into objects/people), Foot-steppers Anonymous (again, this would be for those of you who don't adequately watch where you're walking, and so you accidentally tread on others' toes a lot), Groaners Anonymous (they seat you in chairs with heating-pads and offer you pain-relievers), Grumblers Anonymous, Stumblers Anonymous, Whiners Anonymous, Yawners Anonymous (at all the other meetings they let you sit on comfy upholstered chairs, but here they make you sit on hard wooden benches so that you don't get too relaxed and then start sleepily displaying your tonsils), etc.

One amusing fact about alternative anonymous meetings is that quite a number of any particular meeting's attendees may also suffer from a lot of the maladies and shortcomings addressed in other anonymous meetings, as well (i.e., achy people who copiously moan and groan also tend to complain a lot and mindlessly bumble into and/or step on the feet of unsuspecting souls unfortunate enough to happen to be in their paths), and so you tend to see a lot of familiar faces at many of the various meetings.

by QuacksO July 12, 2019

Henry "Alternate" Cavill: The First Juvenile Release 《¤》.

What I call homo-sapiens who are addicted to perianal abscesses.

Person 1: Are you addicted to perianal abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: Henry "Alternate" Cavill: The First Juvenile Release 《¤》.

by Maternal-Fetal-Medicine February 10, 2025

alternative lumberjack

A recovering alternative kid that is angsty usually a part of the lgbt community that now found country music during their search to find god but has discover that they are not one or the other they or both therefore they are an alternative lumberjack

Guy 1: Yo that chick is something , I want to know more about her

Guy 2: goooo for it she’s one of those alternative lumberjacks 😉

by Angsty teen yeee hawww July 10, 2019

alternative fap

Alternative fap is Trump Porn Material since it is based on alternative facts. Very popular niche in the US since the election of the President.
www.alternativefap.com

-President Trump, what do you do with your small hands?
-I'm all about alternative fap , just visit www.alternativefapc.com , you will see I have the best taste in the world, believe me

by thisissethc September 30, 2017

Alternative

(Not to be mistaken for the alternative music catagory)

a style of fashion often centred around DIY clothing, piercings, dyed hair, or band T-shirts

a loose umbrella term of subcultures, centred around fashion and or music, philosophical or political views, characterised by acting or presenting in a way to attempt reject or challenge present cultural norms

she is pretty alternative, she has so many piercings and for what?

he is quite the punk. Never really cared for that alternative stuff

by A. Bosanko May 30, 2025

alternative

it is a type of kidney stone when you piss, your balls hurt and you feel like you have to throw up.

guy: I have a bad alternative. I throw up when I pee.
girl: eww! get away from me!
guy: :(

by anonymous May 4, 2024