Church History

A soul-sucking and pointless course you are forced to take your junior year at Mount de Sales. Taught by an insane Filipino lady, it is designed to make your brain implode before the final exam. Everyone sleeps in the class and no one learns a single thing because the teacher just goes off on monologues for an hour and a half and no one can understand her accent. Then comes the final exam and you're expected to know everything that happened from Jesus' crucifixion to the Diet of Worms. Whatever the fuck that is.
Mom: So what'd you learn in church history today?

Me: Oh, I learned about all the different heresies, protestantism, etc. We've also had about 54385798327549 bad popes.

Sue: Church history is the biggest waste of life.

Me: I do my precalc homework in that class.

Me: So... this Church history exam....

Ellen: Fuck that shit.
by screaminghallelujah6 December 12, 2011
mugGet the Church Historymug.

Church Niggah

A person who claims to be or is on the righteous path of life. No longer cool enough to hang with old friends. Makes bullshit excuses when asked to hang out but really cant go out cuz they're bound by a significant other.
Person 1: yo you hung out with john recently?
Person 2: nah man he turned into a straight church niggah.
by L8terH8er October 8, 2016
mugGet the Church Niggahmug.

church merch

Free swag you get from your church on Sunday.
Hey Lucy, check out the free St. John’s coffee mugs. That’s some sweet church merch!
by Slump Daddy October 17, 2018
mugGet the church merchmug.

Taylor Church

Taylor Church is an amazing best friend. She would do anything for her friends from looking up there name meaning or just giving them guy advice. Taylor can also be lazy when she wants to but she is always a bad-ass. She is beautiful, and outgoing. She is one of those girls who doesn't fall over every guy who talks to her. She save herself for the right guy(after college of course). She loves her family, even thought they can be a pain. She loves animals and school.
by Tess Collins October 21, 2019
mugGet the Taylor Churchmug.

the church of goomy

A religious cult based around the fictional creature, Goomy from the "Pokemon" series of games.
The Holy Gooble Sliggo Goomy Goodra Pokemon The Church of Goomy
by RoboPup November 12, 2013
mugGet the the church of goomymug.

remy church

Rat church is the church that is devoted to worshiping remy, mass starts at 11:03 on the third Monday of the month and we will do the following:
1. Light the candles of the rat (remy)saying remy (next candle) my rattitouile (next) the rat(next) of(next) all (next) my dreams (next) I praise you(next) my rattitoule(next) may the world(next) remember (next) your(next) name
2.we say lines from the ratatouille and sing some hymns.
3.we eat remys cheese and then blow out the candles while reciting the same passage.
What’s ur religion my pog champ?
Remy church
by Bugsx January 11, 2021
mugGet the remy churchmug.

church kink

someone who really wants to have sex or gets off on the idea of having sex in a church
bro i have such a church kink
by herbeveevebbe March 26, 2022
mugGet the church kinkmug.

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