Traffic Calming Measure

This is something that happens in supermarkets; a two-seater with a trolley is wandering slowly and aimlessly down the aisles with a queue of other customers behind them. They seem apathetic and prepared to tolerate the slow progress, none of them apparently capable of saying “Excuse me” or “Can I just get by” or even “Get out of the way you fat, useless lump of shit!”
See also red rover, Traffic Jam, Road Block.

I went to the supermarket to pick up some food but didn’t bother, the place was full of traffic calming measures.

by AKACroatalin August 13, 2016

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The Calendar Option

A technique of temporarily “saving face” with colleagues, bosses, customers, and auditors by changing every calendar and clock in a particular workplace in an effort to cover up a missed deadline. “The Calendar Option” is the “Nuclear Option” of work place fault misdirection. “The Calendar Option” should only be used when the monumental task of changing dozens of calendars, clocks, and watches pales in comparison to actually completing ones assigned task on time. Hacking of local computer and cellular networks is usually preferred, as these sources represent the primary ways of determining dates and times. “The Calendar Option” will buy you enough time to prepare a resume, write a cover page, and apply for other jobs in the timespan prior to your superiors realizing you’ve elegantly gamed them to death. Worried about future employment? Don’t! One who can successfully employ “The Calendar Option” is often far under-employed anyway. This fact is clearly demonstrated as the time, energy, intelligence and sheer skill required to pull off the maneuver could be accomplished by no less than an American, tier 1, Special Forces operator who is also a Ninja.

Are you late? Can’t blame a colleague? Can’t blame your computer? Can’t blame the weather? Don’t even bother! Just employ “The Calendar Option” and you won’t need to blame a thing because the calendar and clocks say “you’re not late!”

late nuclear option option ninja bad employee blame

by Darren Besert January 21, 2016

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caltard

Basically the same thing as avetard and cottard but these people reside at the Callaway Apartments in Norman. These people are dumber than a rock and just as useless as avetards. Most of them also go to the University of Oklahoma which also makes them an OU tard.

Aye bruh, the caltard wants to hang out tonight, should I just say no?

by TurnM3Up November 12, 2019

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Call of Duty Timing

When you're waiting for what feels like ages for someone to peek the window or around the corner, and the exact moment you look away or reload, they come out and kill you.

I hate Call of Duty Timing, dude! They always peek right as I go away.

by Rodent The Squirrel July 5, 2020

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