Fart Parenting

Fart Parenting is a method of parenting focusing on attachment and comfort. Either the mother or father of a new born baby will fart near their infant's face, with particular care to ensure the baby smells the fart. Each human has distinct and unique 'signatures' in the molecules of their farts and it's believed that when a baby is repetitively exposed to these fart molecules, they will feel comfort and bond with their parent. Fart Parenting involves each parent farting as often as possible in the face of their new born baby for a period of up to a year. It's important to keep exposing the child to the fart molecules for a year to form that strong, rich bond. Fart Parenting is part of a new wave of parenting methods among crunchy mommies, and promoted by groups like, Mères Sans Vaccins (Mothers Without Vaccines). Fart Parenting was nominated for a Long Grass award for Parenting Trend of the Year in 2016, but it lost out to the Bird Feeding Method.

I Fart Parented my triplets; Earthmoon, Atticus, and Felix-Lexus. They all loved my Fart Parenting and remember it fondly because I continued it until their 7th birthday with their breast feeding. Fart parenting promotes a healthy immune system that negates any need for toxic vaccinations.

by grassysally October 27, 2016

down-parent

When it's only thanks to your parents that you were able to make a down payment to buy a house.

"Just bought a house." "Nice! But I thought you were broke and living on ramen noodles." "Got a down-parent to seal the deal."

by JvBm November 1, 2017

Asian parents

Most Asian parents rule over their children with a harsh belief: education dominates everything. They will push aside your social life and get rid of your emotions if it means getting straight A's. Asian parents will think of the worst possible scenario and determine what to do based on it. Here's what to expect if you live in an Asian household.....

*Rice, rice, and more rice
*Nothing but water
*Education > life itself
*A - the only acceptable grade
B - they will scream and hit you
C - they will seriously abuse you and hurt you bad
D or lower - kicked out or threatened to death
*They don't care for your looks, all they want is short hair
*No boyfriends/girlfriends
*Will not let you go out late
*9 PM - 10 PM bedtime
*They will make you study no matter what

All in all, they are just trying to protect and raise you, believe it or not. Don't blame the parents, blame the way they were raised. I'm Asian and I remained sane due to pure determination. The only thing you can do is put up with it. You can't change them, it's just the way it is. You'll just have to see that they want you to be successful. While it might be cruel, it's what they believe is the best way to make you a successful person. You will want to hate them a lot, but keep your head up high and you'll make it.

Typical Asian parents.....
Dad: GO STUDY NOW!!!
Me: Wait, what did I do?
Dad: GO OR GET OUT!!!
Me: Alright, I'll go study.
Dad: DON'T TALK BACK!!!

Mom: GO GET A HAIRCUT!!!
Me: What? Why? It's not that long
Mom: DON'T TALK BACK TO ME!!!
*drags you off to get a bowl cut or a buzz cut

by DracoUltima September 3, 2012

Angry Parent Rock

Angry Parent Rock, as it is deceptively called, actually has nothing to do with rock. It has a lot to do with screaming whiney bastards yelling about how angry they are at their parents. This style of music has been made popular by such bands as Linkin Park.
Angry parent rock originated when stupid band members were finally allowed to write their own songs by their agents and managers. These band members, having the brain power of a 92 year old that has been dead for the last ten years, ended up writing an album or in some cases two or three with all songs consisting of no more than two chords and vocals with a mildly abrasive voice saying how disappointed he was in his father.

song writer 1: hey what if we did a song and the guitar went 'BAAAAAAAAA' then 'WAAAAAAAAA' 'WAAAAAAAA' then back into a 'BAAAAAA'
song writer 2: yeah that is sooooo cool and ill sing "FATHER YOU MAKE ME ANGRY. WHY WONT YOU DIE AND BURN!!!!"
song writer 1: (crying) oh why won't father support my music career.

by AngryLiam March 15, 2005

parentese

The sing-song speech, often accompanied by exaggerated facial expressions, that adults speak to babies.

When Sally spoke parentese to her baby, she sounded like this, “Whoose a prettyy baybeee?”

by amethyst123456 August 9, 2007

Parental Juice

Another phrase to describe the presence of Cum.

Nathan: Urrrr why on earth is your sociology book all wet and sticky :S

Katy: Ofgs! that is the last time i lend John ANYTHING!

Nathan: Huh? :S What is it?

Katy: Parental Juice. ¬.¬

by TwistedNath November 11, 2009

Parental Holiday

Valid only if you are a parent. This refers to the extra days off an employee gets due to sick child, parent/teacher conferences, school plays, etc.

Paul: Have you seen Janice today?

Brett: She didn't come in. She's on a "Parental Holiday." Her daughter has a recital at school.

Paul: Dude, I wish I had kids!

by BMush56 February 11, 2010