Ass Mulch

Ass mulch is a sticky brown substance excreted from the anus. Once excreted it is placed outside in direct sunlight to cake in the heat. The resulting odor can be smelled from a distance of over ten metres and anyone within that radius when the ass mulch is 'Fully caked' will suffer from death. The texture after cooking willm be crispy and crusty like batter on a fish but shit. It can be consumed, but if you want to feel like someone shoved gravel down you throat while dumping in you mouth, be my guest, however the taste has been know to resemble compost mixed with raw sewage and bassil.

There is an alternate way of making Ass Mulch, it can be put in a berlap sack (known as a shittysack) and left to 'mature' at the bottem of your local compost heap. The characteristics are relatively similar to the 'caked ass mulch', only it has a distinct after taste of someone pouring liquified ass cookies down the throat.

Alex: OM MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS THAT SMELL?!?!?!? IT MADE MY NOSE BLEED ITS THAT BAD!!!!!

Tom:It could be only one thing, MY ASS MULCH!!!!! I wondered where it had got to

by Analex January 23, 2009

murph

To bang an incredibly nasty girl. And by nasty, we're talking blue whale size.

Yo did you see that swamp donkey? I know some guy that fucking murfed her!

by je April 1, 2004

dook a murph

to stub your toe

Ouchiekaboobles!!! I just dooked a murph! Eader you shouldn't have been standing there.

by Dee Richardson March 28, 2004

Murph

Cool new word we invented for a pussy.

Man, I could eat this chick's murph for days.

by Legendary Films September 20, 2004

murphied

Term relating to an individual, though mostly woman, who carelessly end relationships and marriages, takes as much loot as they (she) can get, moves out, returning to live in her parent's home. Term can only be applied to individuals who have demonstrated such behaviour at least twice. (2 divorces,etc.) Terms also lends the air of the individual appearing to be saveable, when in fact, they are childish, materalistic victim and now "damaged goods".

Dude, she's back at her mom's. He totally got murphied by that bitch.

by PseudoPilot May 13, 2005

murph

To totally fail at something, die in the arse, fuck something up completely, etc

A: How did you fare on your date?
B: I totally murphed it, but thanks for asking

by cougarr May 21, 2008

Murph

To Murph is to steal one's seat just before they sit down in it.
Can be associated with the word 'snake'

Person 1: Hey come and sit down

*someone Murph's a seat*

Person 2: Oh no! I've just got Murph

by ZackyFlanners August 15, 2016