Turtle Dip

Tea-bagging someone with a turd hanging half-way out of your asshole. Preferably, the recipient will be blind-folded or closing their eyes to keep them in suspense over whether they are about to get the ballsack or the shit with every successive dip.

"I gave your mother the turtle dip, not because she is such a whore but because I thought it would make her stop trying to fuck me."

by mrcheesenowait October 22, 2011

Turtle Dress

A dress that is so short, you can almost see the woman's vagina aka snapper.

"Dude, did you see that chick in the turtle dress standing at the bar"?

"What's a turtle dress"?

"An inch shorter and we would be able to see her snapper"!

by nitkilla September 27, 2012

turtle nugget

When you think it's a fart but actually a small piece of poo slides out.

Becky, I've been sitting through Mr. Wheeler's class with a turtle nugget the whole time.

by ctlaruex February 1, 2015

burp your turtle

to masterbate

why don't you go burp your turtle and leave me alone

by fupabox April 29, 2009

Siamese shy turtle

When males' testicles or balls or gonads retract and shrivel. Sometimes due to cold or excitement but primarily in this case due to fear and anxiety.

Like two little turtle heads, connected by skin and sinew, pulling back into its/their shell.

Metaphorically similar to a poo shy turtle but technically, physically and emotionally a very different experience.

She was fun, interesting, sexy and his friends wanted to bone her, but the fact that she was clearly cleverer than him gave him a siamese shy turtle. Would she notice? Would she care if she did? Or, does the fact that even imagining approaching her makes his body eat his balls mean that he'll never have the courage to get close enough for his shriveled sack to matter?

"You know that Bobbitt story, right?"
"Awh, man, don't maaan. Giz me a siamese shy turtle just thinking about it"

by RastaVari October 23, 2013

Three-eyed Turtle

Appeared in a 70's issue of National Lampoon describing a sex act involving a train situation - synonymous with "airtight" - one weenie in each of a woman's three orifices - oral, genital, and anal.

Jessica tried the French Kayak with the baseball team, but it was not as fulfilling as the Three-eyed Turtle.

by Rveil July 19, 2004

turtle

Substitute for an 'easy' woman (ie - once their on their back they're fucked)

Gah! Callum! Your mums a turtle!

by Xerxes da Phat February 15, 2004