varnished

alcohol intoxicated, drunk

I'll bet she got varnished after work and passed out on the bench.

by The Return of Light Joker November 27, 2010

Varnished asshole

Used to describe a terrible smelling object

<Guy1> Wow those shoes smell terrible
<Guy2> Yeah they smell like Varnished Assholes

by Asspipe April 7, 2009

varnish remover

raw and inferior whiskey (from nail varnish, another term for nail polish, and remover)

That varnish remover was nasty.

by The Return of Light Joker June 25, 2008

man varnish

Seminal fluids that often appears and says hello when a mans shlong is rubed or inserted in to somthing contracting.

please my brother dont rub your man varnish on my dingle berry

by i love hair down there October 20, 2008

Varnished

The state of being so thoroughly drunk and stoned that you are completely and utterly fucked up. 100% blasted, plastered and loaded with a good, big, powerful toke of stoke. Or grass or weed or whatever...

I'm fucking varnished to the max, fucker!!!

by Alexander, irish bastard September 23, 2015

Varnishing the door

When you fuck a chick then cum all over labia majora then spread it all over it, let it dry producing a high gloss finish. This can be done after “staining the door “ or with no staining at all... leaving a natural color

My girl and I are planning on varnishing the door this evening.

by Richard Dangles January 24, 2020

Nonce Varnish

A combination of boiling water and sugar that burns and sticks, when thrown, to the skin of a pedophile in prison, making their skin glossy and solid once cooled.

Convict #1: "I heard that cunt's a pedo."

Convict #2: "Don't worry, I'm going to give him a coat of nonce varnish the minute he's out of PC."

by Oscar X-ray January 30, 2025