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Cranking Units

What began as Edmonton-speak for ‘drinking beers’, has evolved into an entire culture.

Anything can be a unit, and usually it’s crankable, sometimes the unit even cranks itself and you need to crank it before it cranks you. Sometimes you crank the units and later on the units crank back (ie a hangover).

Unit Classification System - Crankology. 101

Type 1 Units

- Instant gratification units. Require little effort to crank, with high pleasure payoff.

- Ex: cocaine, liquor.

Type 2 Units

- Units that require some effort to crank, with potentially great rewards.

- Ex: mushrooms, ayahuasca, changa.

Type 3 Units

- Units that crank you, but in the long run allow you to crank even more units.

- Ex: psychedelic ego death, vaccines, getting lost in the forest and discovering your spirit animal after days of dehydration and delirium.

Type 4 Units

- Food units. Calories are eventually required for even the most veteran of greeblers.

- Ex: Rave pizza.

Type 5 Units

- Units that need to leave the body. Bodily function units.

- Ex: crank a piss, bro!

Type 6 Units

- Mystery Units. Units found, effects unknown until cranked.

Ex: powdery substance snorted off greebly shag rug.

Type 7 Units

- Adrenaline units. Units that activate internal adrenaline system for sake of excitement and cheap thrills!

Ex: fire spinning, sky diving, BDSM kinks.

Type 8 Units

Sexual pleasure units.

Ex: cranking your nut butter all over your babe (with consent).
*Looks at empty beer box* “bro did we crank all those unes?”

“I went to help my friend build a fence but then we just started cranking units instead”

“When I birthed my child I was in labour for 12 hours”
“Damn, that’s cranking a unit for sure”

“Love une/ love yoon”

“Don’t forget to use your manners, say please and crank une”

What is life, but a unit cranked?”
by anonymous November 18, 2021
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parental units

The people who supposedly birthed you but with whom you feel no attachment. They may often share their living courters with you and ocassionly toss you a buck or two for the bus or tell you "i bought mac and cheese...you can handle that for tonight, right?" but don't feel like family because they seem like they are just there.
Differentiation may be shown by using 'male' or 'female' as a prefix of the term.

ex. male parental unit or female parental unit
by Drezdyn February 22, 2004
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Related Words
ungts ungtss units unts ungas Ungus Ungasm ungaslight Ungst ungst ungst

freedom units

The measurement that stupid Americans use instead of using the way superior metric/celsius systems
Fuck the freedom units and all people that think its better than NORMAL FUCKING SYSTEMS
by ChangHongChing2002 September 2, 2018
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Scoville Heat Units

A Scoville Heat Unit (SHU) is a measurement indicating the spiciness of a Chili Pepper.
The Trinidad Moruga Scorpion Pepper has around 2,009,231 Scoville Heat Units, and is currently the hottest Chili Pepper in the world.
by Darkforge317 September 28, 2013
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t-units

The modernized version of a tampon.
Lisa: "Omg, I'm so bloated. I'm anemic as hell."
Allison: "Omg, you got your p-card, too?"
Lisa: "Let's go find some guys and show them how hot they are."
Allison: "Hang on, we gotta stick us some t-units first."
Lisa. "Yeah! Cheap contraception much? Kthx."
by Jared344035 July 2, 2006
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move units

since last year 50 cent has really been movin units!
by slsfinest598 August 7, 2003
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hassle units

A "hassle unit" is a standard unit of measure defined by a scale from 0 to 100 used to indicate the difficulty involved in completing a task. The low end of the scale (0) indicates that the task is easy and will be accomplished without effort. The high end (100) indicates that the task will require massive amounts of effort to complete and is nearly impossible.
"Meeting you for lunch today will require 10 hassle units, the restaraunt isn't too far from my office."

"Rewriting that entire proposal before end of business today will require 90 hassle units, but we'll do our best."

"Deciphering John Kerry's position on Iraq requires 99 hassle units.
by Steve Jackson October 12, 2004
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