The townie (tracksuits retardus) are hideous creatures which roam the lands of England. They tend to be known as chavs, neds or basically just fucking assholes.
The male of the species tend to be called 'Gav', 'Gaz', 'Baz', 'Nat' or 'Matty'. He tends to have a shaved head, to make him look 'rock 'ard, innit', or in modern English, tough. Although townies are racist towards asians, they accept black people into their 'crew', and the black townies tend to bleach their hair yellow (blonde). Their hides tend to consist of (fake) Burberry caps, hoodies over the top, with the hood constantly up, matching tracksuit bottoms with the lines down the side, and white trainers. They also tend to wear plastic rings from the 20 pence (British money) plastic jewelry vending machines. They buy all their 'bling' or 'heavy shit' with money stolen from their parents or 5-year-olds which they beat up, money found on the floor, or from drug dealing and their girlfriends' prostitution, which brings me onto the female of the species.
Female townies tend to be named after dolls, or celebrities such as 'Britney' or 'Jordan' (Americans, Jordan is a page 3 model famous for her massive big tits). There are two types of female townie. There is the Stripy Pink Townie and the Half Naked Townie. The stripy pink townie wears a white tracksuit top with 'Babe' on the front in bright pink text with pink stripes down the sleeves, and cheapest of the cheap matching white jogging bottoms with pink stripes down them, all of this of course, with the cheap white trainers. The half naked townie wears very little. She wears a 2-inch long skirt, knee-high boots and tight bra-tops. They are sluts, and are usually prostitutes. The two types of female have alot of things in common, however. They both wear hoop-earings with a diameter of 2 meters, they both wear cheap makeup and perfume which smells of fresh assjuice, they are all blonde with huge dark roots, even the natural blonde townies have 9-inch roots.
All townies travel in groups of 50 to about 80. They beat up anything which moves, however they don't fight alone, for instance it will take them all to beat up a couple of 7-year-olds and steal their money. There are usually under-10s in the group of townies, usually the sons and daughters of the 11-year-old townies. The offspring will usually see you coming, run back to the group of townies and tell them that you were picking on them, quite basically, they are all little shits. As the big townies start shouting abuse at you, the little townies will usually finish their fathers' sentences with "yeah!", "go on, Gav, beat the shit out of the fucker" or "yer fuckin' dead ya knob 'ed". All townies smoke. It's not an option. The strange creatures seem to live on nicotine rather than oxygen, scientists still want to investigate this, but they can't get too close to capture a townie without getting spat at or beat up. If you hear "WHAT YOU WALKIN' AWAY FOR?", "WHAT YOU FUCKIN' LOOKIN' AT?" or "DON'T YOU FUCKIN' IGNORE ME!", it is a good chance that within 30 seconds, you will be chased by a bunch of 50 or so male townies on bikes which they got for Christmas when they were 5 years old, spitting and swearing. Townies never actually beat anyone up, but they spit and throw things so be warned.
The male of the species tend to be called 'Gav', 'Gaz', 'Baz', 'Nat' or 'Matty'. He tends to have a shaved head, to make him look 'rock 'ard, innit', or in modern English, tough. Although townies are racist towards asians, they accept black people into their 'crew', and the black townies tend to bleach their hair yellow (blonde). Their hides tend to consist of (fake) Burberry caps, hoodies over the top, with the hood constantly up, matching tracksuit bottoms with the lines down the side, and white trainers. They also tend to wear plastic rings from the 20 pence (British money) plastic jewelry vending machines. They buy all their 'bling' or 'heavy shit' with money stolen from their parents or 5-year-olds which they beat up, money found on the floor, or from drug dealing and their girlfriends' prostitution, which brings me onto the female of the species.
Female townies tend to be named after dolls, or celebrities such as 'Britney' or 'Jordan' (Americans, Jordan is a page 3 model famous for her massive big tits). There are two types of female townie. There is the Stripy Pink Townie and the Half Naked Townie. The stripy pink townie wears a white tracksuit top with 'Babe' on the front in bright pink text with pink stripes down the sleeves, and cheapest of the cheap matching white jogging bottoms with pink stripes down them, all of this of course, with the cheap white trainers. The half naked townie wears very little. She wears a 2-inch long skirt, knee-high boots and tight bra-tops. They are sluts, and are usually prostitutes. The two types of female have alot of things in common, however. They both wear hoop-earings with a diameter of 2 meters, they both wear cheap makeup and perfume which smells of fresh assjuice, they are all blonde with huge dark roots, even the natural blonde townies have 9-inch roots.
All townies travel in groups of 50 to about 80. They beat up anything which moves, however they don't fight alone, for instance it will take them all to beat up a couple of 7-year-olds and steal their money. There are usually under-10s in the group of townies, usually the sons and daughters of the 11-year-old townies. The offspring will usually see you coming, run back to the group of townies and tell them that you were picking on them, quite basically, they are all little shits. As the big townies start shouting abuse at you, the little townies will usually finish their fathers' sentences with "yeah!", "go on, Gav, beat the shit out of the fucker" or "yer fuckin' dead ya knob 'ed". All townies smoke. It's not an option. The strange creatures seem to live on nicotine rather than oxygen, scientists still want to investigate this, but they can't get too close to capture a townie without getting spat at or beat up. If you hear "WHAT YOU WALKIN' AWAY FOR?", "WHAT YOU FUCKIN' LOOKIN' AT?" or "DON'T YOU FUCKIN' IGNORE ME!", it is a good chance that within 30 seconds, you will be chased by a bunch of 50 or so male townies on bikes which they got for Christmas when they were 5 years old, spitting and swearing. Townies never actually beat anyone up, but they spit and throw things so be warned.
"Oreet Gav ma bruv, innit!"
"Oreet Matty!"
"I dealt some of ma shit today to dese mothafuckas and i used tha dough to buy dis fuckin gold ring!"
"Whoa, that shit's heavy, bruv!"
"Yeah look, the gold fuckin rubs off in case ya want it to be silver!"
"That's fuckin heavy shit bruv!"
"Innit?"
"Oreet Matty!"
"I dealt some of ma shit today to dese mothafuckas and i used tha dough to buy dis fuckin gold ring!"
"Whoa, that shit's heavy, bruv!"
"Yeah look, the gold fuckin rubs off in case ya want it to be silver!"
"That's fuckin heavy shit bruv!"
"Innit?"
by Arran December 4, 2004
Get the Townie mug.by Bee_Your_MX March 29, 2022
Get the 4 TOWNIE mug.Apparently has a very different meaning in the UK, but in good old aussie slang means a person from a rural area that lives in a small town (as opposed to on a farm)
(upon meeting someone in a major city)
Person 1: so where are you from
Person 2: oh, i'm from the country
Person 1: so your a farmboy?
Person 2: no, a townie
Person 1: so where are you from
Person 2: oh, i'm from the country
Person 1: so your a farmboy?
Person 2: no, a townie
by Turbosloth August 14, 2006
Get the townie mug.Townies and Chavs are often seen hanging round in groups of 2-25. You rarely see a chav or townie alone, he/she will travel in a "gang". Words these people like to use are "Yo, innit, brap, blud, blad, safe, wot, ooo no, ah, ohrite" etc. The typical female wears tracksuits, things enblazened with glitter and "diamonds", giant hoop earrings, white/black trainers taht are usually Nike, Adidas or Reebok. You will sometimes see a female townie hanging round with the other chavs or townies and just generally hanging outside chip shops across the UK. These girls will usually wear their hair completely flat with hair gels, sprays etc. and will have it in a side-ponytail.
The male will wear tracksuits (Adidas, Nike, Reebok, Lacoste), a baseball cap that matches the tracksuit and trainers that match too. Their head can be shaven with a weird pattern on the side. He will also wear lots of "bling" (gold chains, watches, earring etc. but the gold is usually fake)
Both males and females will carry round mobile phones, playing loud chav/townie music (usually some dance music, or hip-hop or R&B). They will sit at the back of the bus annoying people by talking loudly, playing loud music, shouting at people and pratting about.
Chavs/townies come usually in ages 3-30.
A female chav is called a Chavette
A male is called a chav
A child 10 and under is a mini-chav
A baby aged 3 months-1 year is a chavlet.
Chavs and townies love to wear burberry, sports brands,etc.
PS
Chavettes will sometimes be pregnant at the age of 16-18
Chavs will be seen in bushes smoking/doing drugs
Or round play areas looking "hard"
The male will wear tracksuits (Adidas, Nike, Reebok, Lacoste), a baseball cap that matches the tracksuit and trainers that match too. Their head can be shaven with a weird pattern on the side. He will also wear lots of "bling" (gold chains, watches, earring etc. but the gold is usually fake)
Both males and females will carry round mobile phones, playing loud chav/townie music (usually some dance music, or hip-hop or R&B). They will sit at the back of the bus annoying people by talking loudly, playing loud music, shouting at people and pratting about.
Chavs/townies come usually in ages 3-30.
A female chav is called a Chavette
A male is called a chav
A child 10 and under is a mini-chav
A baby aged 3 months-1 year is a chavlet.
Chavs and townies love to wear burberry, sports brands,etc.
PS
Chavettes will sometimes be pregnant at the age of 16-18
Chavs will be seen in bushes smoking/doing drugs
Or round play areas looking "hard"
by TickTockItsARock January 13, 2008
Get the Townie/chav mug.A townie is an arrogant piece of shit who normally walks around town centres. Other words for them are chav,towny and general piece of crap.
Female townies are usually known as hoes or bitches and are usually sluts. They also carry lots of infections that the decent people in the world punks, skaters, greebos should stay well clear of.
The male species normally fink they are "solid" and av lots of "respec'" thats respect spelt badly. Their clothes are normally bought from the local market and although they have names on these are often Borberry (cheap burberry) badidas 9 adidas rip-offs) and often Nice (If you squint it looks like Nike)
Lots of them claim they "boned their hoes" when they were 5 but have of ten neva come into contact id someone of the opposite sex except for when buying cheap alcahol at Threshers.
Female townies are usually known as hoes or bitches and are usually sluts. They also carry lots of infections that the decent people in the world punks, skaters, greebos should stay well clear of.
The male species normally fink they are "solid" and av lots of "respec'" thats respect spelt badly. Their clothes are normally bought from the local market and although they have names on these are often Borberry (cheap burberry) badidas 9 adidas rip-offs) and often Nice (If you squint it looks like Nike)
Lots of them claim they "boned their hoes" when they were 5 but have of ten neva come into contact id someone of the opposite sex except for when buying cheap alcahol at Threshers.
by leo and buva January 4, 2005
Get the Townies mug.A townie is a person whom spends their free time, hanging around outside the local MacDonald’s. The male specimen has a tendency to wear fake Adidas goods, mainly tracksuits. However, they are incapable of running - due to the horrendous daily intake of tobacco.
Both sexes of 'townies', wear fake gold jewellery bought from the market, or stolen from other fellow townies.
The female specimen, usually have bleach blonde hair, with about 2 inches of deep brown hair above. They too sport tracksuits, having words such as 'BABE' and 'PRINCESS' bore upon their chests. The females also spend all their time “hangin wit der homies” and attempting to pull an ugly male townie.
If you do unfortunately see a group of townies, you will see several young children running around, also smoking and trying to thieve off of you. This happens because a townie is very unfamiliar with contraception, and as a result has at least 2 spouses by the time they are 15. They also may carry at least 10 STD's as yet another result of lack of contraception.
It is good to try and avoid these poor excuses for people: if you yourself are not a fellow townie, due to the fact that they resent anybody who can spell at least one word correctly.
They also like to pretend that they are stoned and drunk to impress others. Even if it is only 10 o'clock in the morning.
Both sexes of 'townies', wear fake gold jewellery bought from the market, or stolen from other fellow townies.
The female specimen, usually have bleach blonde hair, with about 2 inches of deep brown hair above. They too sport tracksuits, having words such as 'BABE' and 'PRINCESS' bore upon their chests. The females also spend all their time “hangin wit der homies” and attempting to pull an ugly male townie.
If you do unfortunately see a group of townies, you will see several young children running around, also smoking and trying to thieve off of you. This happens because a townie is very unfamiliar with contraception, and as a result has at least 2 spouses by the time they are 15. They also may carry at least 10 STD's as yet another result of lack of contraception.
It is good to try and avoid these poor excuses for people: if you yourself are not a fellow townie, due to the fact that they resent anybody who can spell at least one word correctly.
They also like to pretend that they are stoned and drunk to impress others. Even if it is only 10 o'clock in the morning.
TOWNIE 1: Oi, bubba - can yo see dose bunch ov freaks bruv?
TOWNIE 2: O yyeeeaaa mate, lets lob sum J20 bottles at dem!!
TOWNIE 1: Dat is a PHAT idea bruv. As a reward, do ya wanna sleep wit me bird 2nite?
TOWNIE 2: Yea mate, shes f*****' fit bruv!
TOWNIE 2: O yyeeeaaa mate, lets lob sum J20 bottles at dem!!
TOWNIE 1: Dat is a PHAT idea bruv. As a reward, do ya wanna sleep wit me bird 2nite?
TOWNIE 2: Yea mate, shes f*****' fit bruv!
by Kate February 16, 2004
Get the townies mug.townies have a problem with people who dress different to them, listen to different music or have any other hobbies. they also take the piss out of people of different races or cultures blah blah etc. and are basically complete wastes of time (if you know your kid's gonna be a townie, please, drown him/her at birth.)
they also think they're cool by failing all their schoolwork and talking like dicks .... and then they have a go at kids who're actually smart. Hey townies, they're the ones you'll be packing shopping bags for in the very near future.
they also think they're cool by failing all their schoolwork and talking like dicks .... and then they have a go at kids who're actually smart. Hey townies, they're the ones you'll be packing shopping bags for in the very near future.
Fuck townies - they suck and are sooooo bored that they can't find anything better to do except hang around Alldays. tragic.
by Mel March 9, 2004
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