smoke the turkey

male masturbation

Instead of sex I prefer to smoke the turkey.

After a night out at the bar I like to go home and smoke the turkey.

During office hours my boss likes to sit at his desk and smoke the turkey.

While watching porn I enjoy smoking the turkey.

by bufumufu1 November 26, 2010

jerk the turkey

masturbation.

guy 1: ahhhhhh..
guy 2: did you just jerk the turkey?
guy 1: yeah.

by daniel d, and otherzzz October 19, 2008

water the turkey

A nonsensical action that is performed for the sole purpose of making someone do work. Similar to watering a dog shit garden except that the action is forced upon by a second-party.

Guy 1: "Why is Mike late?"

Guy 2: "His parent's are probably making him water the turkey"

by jimcool126 June 25, 2008

The Turkish Exchange Rate

The Exchane rate in ratio form of how many local girls banged are equal to a Turkish girl. Famously Turkish girls are hard to bang so the closer the ratio to 1:1 the harder to bang.

Guy 1: What's the Turkish Exchange Rate for France

Guy 2: About 10:1

by Scots September 19, 2016

Garrotting the Turkey

Like choking the chicken but a lot more frantic and urgent. Also known as wanking, spanking the monkey, bashing the bishop, strangling the snake, masturbating or no handed pushups

Im so horny, I need to Garrott the Turkey!

by Tim Evans February 5, 2004

Stuffing the Turkey, Beating the Jerky

Involves fisting your asshole whilst tossing yourself off.
The resulting mixture of semen and shit can be stored and served on toast.

Tyrone: I once walked in on my little brother Stuffing the Turkey, Beating the Jerky.

Declan: Nigga yo bro be a sick fuck.

by cutebabe8374 May 6, 2010

The Turkish Hammer

A vigorous style of masturbation, where the person or persons performing said act tightly grip the head of the penis in both hands and hammer up and down the shaft as if they were flattening a mighty slab or steel.

I met this girl last night and after a few drinks she took me back to her place and laid down The Turkish Hammer on my cock... vicious!

by Jason Royle April 30, 2008