Faux-tend

The act of logging onto a zoom meeting but not actually being at the meeting.

I don’t really want to go to the meeting so I am going to faux-tend.

by RachelRoxxx September 16, 2020

tending to the slow cooker

to engage in masturbation

Person 1: "Stop messaging me, im tending to the slow cooker."
Person 2: "What?"
Person 1: "Jacking off"

by gazza222 November 7, 2020

port-tending

When you tend to a port, in the harbor.

Mr. C: What's Johnny do? Last I heard, he was the CEO of a Company.

Mr. D: Haven't you heard?

Mr. G: I haven't heard, what happened?

Mr. D: His degrees got revoked. He's port-tending now.

Mr. C: Hey, what's port-tending?

Mr. G: Oh port-tending, he's tending to the port!!

Mr. D: What a noble profession! I have to go the harbor now!!!

by MosesvsJesus February 25, 2024

Tend to my crops

A mock-authoritative phrase used to degrade or assert dominance in a medieval or fantasy roleplay setting. Often said to a person of color when they’re misbehaving. Meant to be exaggerated and dramatic, not taken seriously.

Quandairus stop pestering the women and tend to my crops

by ANDREWTHEFALLEN July 11, 2025