Pork Scotch's Cone

A cone wrongly stolen by Pork Scotch that he once used to keep a space for his small white van outside his house while he went out in it because he thinks he is important because he's a security guard (EVEN more important than Shit Stained Schumachers you know). Because he had no right to do it, I moved it so that a car would park there. When he got back the look of shock on the ugly bastards face was phenomenal when he saw that a car had parked there. With a usual grumpy look on his face, he moved it onto the front of the house. He works from 6pm to 6am so at 10 we put it in a bin bag and took it onto another road an left it on the back of a Maltby lorry. In the morning, he was looking all over the place for his beloved cone with a mad look of disbelief. Looks like he'll never see his cone again. Poor Porky!

SWYTHEERBRIDGE: Whats that orange thing on the back of the Maltby lorry?

MONK AND DAD: That's Pork Scotch's Cone.

by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick May 4, 2009

Scotch Bagging

The act of dipping one's balls into two hollowed-out scotch eggs for sexual pleasure.

I was scotch bagging last night, when my Mum walked in on me. It was like American Pie, but with scotch eggs.

by Invisible Kid December 27, 2004

tickle scratch

The act of combining a tickle and a scratch in one. It's the gentle art of running your finger nails ever so slightly up and down, for example, the inside of someone's arm from their wrist to their elbow. This creates the very relaxing feeling of the tickle scratch. A tickle scratch is a great way to lull someone to sleep or simply show a little affection to a loved one.

"Will you tickle scratch my arm?"
"Of course."
snore.

by Kat Karshner November 29, 2007

Pork Scotch Pants

Discusting Tartan Boxer shorts that smell like shit. The only reason anyone knows that he wears these is because he came out of the bathroom in the morning while I was witing for the toilet and he had nothing on besides these. He seemed very embarassed and ran as fast as the little man could. When I walked in I realised why he was embarassed and ran to his room. The toilet stank like the worst pile of shit ever created. I ran straight back out. I used a pint of Air freshener and could still smell it at the bottom of the stairs.

ME: You'll never guess what I just saw.

DAD: What?

ME: Lets call them Pork Scotch pants. He came out of the bathroom and ran to his room wearing Tartan boxers. The bathroom stank!

by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick May 12, 2009

Gamer Scratch

When playing a competitive game and the individual that is gradually losing scratches his/her head(Scalp) or facial features extremely fast due to the frustration of not being able to achieve victory. Hence... The gamer scratch AKA- The frustrated gamer.

Its a tie in super smash brothers 64 and link boomerangs and bombs the fuck out of pikabitch to achieve victory. Pikabitch fails to dodge several of links projectiles therefore initiating the "gamer scratch".

by Blair Bear October 30, 2012

Fart Scratch

When your butt itches and you have a stored up fart, you violently squeeze the fart out in such a turbulent fashion that the itch was instantly eliminated, thus killing two birds with one stone.

It takes mastery to fart scratch in public without detection.

by tootmaster9001 December 15, 2019

Belly Scratcher

Quite simply a giant douche bag. More often than not, a Lacrosse player and/or some form of Jock. A male who is either obsessed with his own stomach or wants everyone to see his stomach for some unknown reason. (it most certainly doesn't have a bad itch) This male is either looking for envy among other males, to signal other belly scratchers of being part of the club, or the possibility of female attention. Look for scratching sessions anywhere from 10-15 seconds to a full 4 minutes depending on location.

Side effects of talking to belly scratchers will cause a severe loss in brain cells. Avoid as much as possible.

Hey Dan, you have a good dinner out last night?

Nah brah, there were belly scratchers everywhere.

Oh balls dude.

by pedaltothemetal August 26, 2010