retention

In general, from the Latin, it means "holding back" The word is used in Medicine for constipation, an impaction of the large intestine by feces. It also refers to the closure of the bladder resulting in an awful bursting pain, because not a drop of urine will come out. That can happen by taking in too many liquids, ignoring the need to piss for hours, and having the full bladder rest on the urethra thus closing it down or having an enlarged prostate pressing on the same tube that empties the bladder. Many drugs, such as cough syrup and some antidepressants, cause temporary retention. Recreational drugs such as ecstasy, morphine, codeine and heroin and methadone may close down the bladder, sometimes for 24 hours. Surgery near the bladder area may upset the local nerves and may lead to retention of urine for 24 to 48 hours or more.

One of my friends took a lot of ecstasy at at a party. After about 5 hours he had a terrible need to empty his bursting bladder. He couldn't pass any pee, not a drop. That went on for 18 hours until he could urinate. That retention led him to give up drugs. Last year I had a hernia operation. After I came to, a beautiful nurse palpated my bladder area and found I had retention of urine. I hadn't gone for about 10 hours. I said I'll go to the toilet. Nothing would come out. I was glad when she held my penis, catheterized me, and emptied out about a quart of piss. Retention of urine is no fun not even when a good looking nurse opened me up.

by Ivy League 82 October 14, 2009

anal retention

Anal retention is holding on to a monster poo when you can't get to the toilet.

Father George's poor anal retention cost him all credibility during the sermon, when he sneezed and defecated himself with a revolting spray

by Seal Clubbing Instructor April 5, 2010

Pre-reporting

also Prereporting

The ability to report an event before it has occurred via live worldwide broadcast or through newsprint. Prereporting also involves contradictory evidence contained within the story that is being reported.

BBC on 9-11-01 engaged in pre-reporting with a newscast that World Trade Center 7 (a.k.a. the Salomon builing) had fallen while the building was still standing, and visible over the newscaster's shoulder.

by skizex March 2, 2007

Cake Retention Syndrome

Otherwise known as KIPLINGITIS. The body compulsively attracts all cake within a mile radius and stores it in special grease pouches developed in the stomach, buttocks, thighs, bingo wings and ankles. Vanessa Feltz is a celebrity sufferer of this condition. Indeed, such is her ability to retain mountains of cake that her name has been lent to the more acute form of the disease known as FELTZISM (See FAT FUCKS IN THE MEDIA).

"It was tragic, she had severe Cake Retention Syndrome - It was a bit like looking at a Battenburg in a tracksuit."

"The Kiplingitis caused the thighs to chaff sufficiently for spontaneous combustion to occur. The smell of baked goods could be discerned for several miles."

by Dr. Goatfondler October 12, 2011

Restoration

A term commonly used by mistake when describing a vehicle that has undergone improvements such as new paint and interior, yet is nothing like a factory original.

I spent 10,000 dollars on the restoration of my VW Bus. The Lexus Plum Purple paint still looks new and the leather Dodge Caravan seats are very comfortable.

by norcalmike vw December 21, 2010

retention

Ability to retain.

The tenacious sprite had excellent retention.

by Larstait November 14, 2003

Semen Retention Syndrome

Semen Retention Syndrome also known as SRS – this is when a man is suffering from symptoms similar to PMS. This is caused by a back up of semen as a result of NO sexual relations, or masturbation.

"Nick is so evidently in a bad mood he must be suffering from Semen Retention Syndrome - SRS."

by Best Filth April 29, 2009