Skip to main content

farmer's mistress

Person 1: I need some wool to make this sweater for my girlfriend, any ideas where I could get some?

Person 2: Try the farmer's mistress.
by MrCorrect1985 September 18, 2009
mugGet the farmer's mistress mug.

Mistress

1.) a lonely female with no self-respect who willingly subjects herself to the marginal attention of married men
2.) enemy to the institution of marriage
3.) an example of female energy used for evil

4.) a married man's co-conspirator
5.) the puppet a married man keeps in his closet and pulls out only at night and only when no one else is around to witness its existance
6.) one who will never experience real romantic love, and seemingly has no desire for it

7.) a woman with no value other than that of sexual gratification
Recently, we have seen many famous men's lives and marriages come to ruin as a result of their relationships with a mistress(es).
by I said... February 4, 2010
mugGet the Mistress mug.

mistress

Something between a mister and his mattress.
Marilyn Monroe was President Kennedy's mistress.
by soreofhing July 20, 2009
mugGet the mistress mug.

moistress

Old, ragged out, shit box of a boat that no amount of horsepower will ever make it fast. Usually has a wet transom and stringers and TRS drives. Typically owned by bald, overweight middle aged men.
Timmy is out crushing waves in his Moistress again today.
by bigbloc540 May 9, 2017
mugGet the moistress mug.

Moisties

Females between the ages of 18 and 25 who is down for anything.
This party is a total Sausage Festival where are all the moisties?
by scottfilly November 30, 2009
mugGet the Moisties mug.

mistress drink

Energy giving cocktails, such as jaegerbombs, vodka red bull, consumed before a visit to a mistress or girlfriend to enhance 'activities'. The modern man's Spanish Fly.
Wing Kin often had a mistress drink before visiting his girlfriend Susan Hsu. She was much younger than him and it helped him keep up with her needs.
by domino woodstock June 7, 2011
mugGet the mistress drink mug.

Moisteners

Moisteners refer to any combination of acts of sexual foreplay that are performed by a male or a female on a female with the specific intent to arouse the female for sex play and to create a moist and wet vagina prior to having sexual intercourse, finger play or dildo play. When performed, Moisteners themselves may, but not always, create a female orgasm or squirt in addition to making her extremely wet.

Examples of Moisterners can include, but may not be limited to, touching, rubbing, fondling, kissing, licking, sucking, etc.
Barry was so horney when he got from from work that he threw his girlfriend on the bed and after performing a series of different Moisteners, she was ready for sex play and he buried his meat thermometer deep in her wet loose meat sandwich.
by Eaton Holgoode March 17, 2014
mugGet the Moisteners mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email