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mattress worship

Refers to the decision to stay in bed when you are too tired to get up and go to church.
“Bottom doesn’t go to church; he prefers mattress worship.”
by Bottom Ford April 18, 2010
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matressable

Worthy of having sex with. Not necessarily on a matress or bed, but hence the name.
Bill: Yo, Joe, what do you think of that brunette over there?
Joe: Definitely matressable, man! I'd love to get me a piece of that!
by Midami June 9, 2005
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Mattress Map

The deep, red, angry indentations that form on one’s face after a night of comatose-like sleep. Mattress maps generally appear when the unfortunate sleeper crashes on:

A) unfolded laundry that has amassed on the bed

B) creases in the sheets or

C) any foreign object on which the weary victim does not realize is on the bed, couch, or floor.

The redness induced by mattress maps generally fades quickly, but the temporary damage to the derma is usually evidenced for several hours after waking.
Connie: “Holy shit, Jen! What happened to you last night?”

Jen: “I crashed at 4 am after cramming for Dunlap’s final. Why, does it show?”

Connie: “Well sweetie, you have the serious mattress map from you left eye to your chin. It looks like the Mississippi!”
by slickpuppy June 21, 2009
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Mattress Goldz

If there was an Archangel for Brothers.....The Goldz would be on the top of the list.

Some people take on selfish responsibilities.....and think only for themselves. The Goldz fights for all.

Some consider him a god.....but he humbly take the title of a Saint.

There are winners and losers in this world. The selfish try and take over all that is good and just.
The Goldz will always be there to fight for the just.

Girls faint.....Ladies love him.
He's the Player.....A NOLA Native.

Evil will always try to cut corners to eventually destroy him. However.... The Goldz will find a way win. He doesn't believe in a NO Win Scenario!
1)
"Are you a god?!" - Person Asking the Question
"No, I'm the Goldz. Mattress Goldz" - Mattress Goldz

2)
"Is it just me....or does fleur de lis and beignets seem sexy?" - Lady
"You're speaking my mind woman" - Mattress Goldz
by Knight441 October 4, 2012
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mattressback

A fireman who sleeps on the job. Policemen frequently refer to firemen as "mattressbacks"
We here at the copshot work twice as hard as those lazy mattressbacks over at the fire station.
by Toddisgreat January 21, 2010
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Skater Matress

A girl who sleeps with only skaters just so they will allow her to hang out with them. Age of the skater is of no matter to the Skater Matress!
"Dude I always see that girl at this skate park." "Yeah man-she's a Skater Matress!"
by Washington's Own Victoria April 28, 2005
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Mickey Mouse Mattress

I can see the imprint of your Mickey Mouse mattress when you bend over.
by wolfbait51 April 19, 2011
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