Jarred

A male version of a small female dog.

dude, hes such a jarred.

by theonewhohatesyou November 22, 2011

Jarred

A short rotund man with pale skin that matches his hair. Jarreds usually don't know how to spell, and are retarded in most aspects. Jarreds seek out single moms who are desperate to date. Jarreds also call and text their exes for up to 4 years after the break up. Jarreds get angry in a blink of an eye, and start hitting randomly. Jarreds are the devil.

That guy is desperate, he must be a Jarred.

by Kangaruse February 13, 2010

Jarred

the lowest form of a douche bag. gets girls pregnant and then leaves them alone with the baby with no support. he will make you cry every night for 10 months. breaks promises and lies all the time. he will be the biggest disappointment of your life, and the biggest waste of time.

"did you hear about what jarred did to brittany?" "yeah, i can't believe that douche!"

by brittanybitch January 4, 2010

Jarred

A boy who acts gay but is straight. He will fondle your balls, and probably take hard anal from a random guy from a Thrift Shop and claims he is straight. He is also one to fool around with and loves his memes. He also loves his panty collection he has in his closet, and the favorite colored panty is green. Also, he is short and some times climbs on walls like a demented spider. He also likes to hiss at sun light and his family when provoked. Finally... he really loves Ass and loooooves small titties and believes in the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

There is no examples of these Jarreds because that's how weird they are.

by DaBoyo05 March 13, 2018

Jarred

usually a jewish boy who is a hypebeast and his mom is a bitch. He also has a small penis.

That jarred last night was horrible in bed and his finger was broken.

by dasjafj December 14, 2010

jumble jarred

when traveling at high speed on a snowboard and attempting to stop one hits hard pack causing a rapid jarring motion of the knees, hips, and testicles resulting in the sensation of testicular impact.

Ahh...dude, totally got jumble jarred on that one... give me a sec.

by go4bigfuzz June 28, 2016

Earl Jarred Mars

The dumbest fucker around. Earl Jarred Mars is such a fucking idiot that he can fucking throw a grenade at an enemy and end up killing his teammates who are on the other side of the map....

with.out.fail.

WATCH OUT EARL JARRED MARS HAS A BOMB

by XD-Anon June 27, 2019