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Cooties in the Kitchen

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A euphemism for a sexually transmitted infection. Less frequently used to refer to restaurant health code violations.
"I spent all of my hooker budget last night and now I've got cooties in my kitchen."
"She's pretty attractive, but she's definitely got cooties in the kitchen."
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Another way to tell somebody is not the brightest person in attendance, or not the sharpest tool in the shed.
- Oh my! Another D in math? This was about addition and subtraction!
- Well, what can we say, ma'am? Your son is not the sharpest knife in the kitchen

- I mean, nobody would mistake the Kardashians for rocket scientist, but the youngest one really takes not being the sharpest knife in the kitchen to another level!

- With her questions about Chicken of the Sea, Jessica Simpson proved the world that she was not the sharpest knife in the kitchen.

- We used to think Sarah Palin wasn't the sharpest knife in the kitchen, but along came Rick Perry to prove us wrong. And that's tough, since none of these GOP candidates now is the sharpest knife in the kitchen!
by el patron himself November 13, 2011
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This commonly used phrase is simply explaining how immensely stupid someone can be. For example, one is trying to answer a question about a short story. The answer is clearly within the first paragraph, but your buddy next to you whines about not being able to find it. You become furious, all they really need to do is open their eyes. You say dear god! The fridge is in the kitchen! This phrase compares your friends stupidty with how difficult it would be to find someones fridge in their home. It's CLEARLY in the kitchen. How do you not know where to find the answer to the question? It's CLEARLY in the first paragraph. Another example would be something less complicated, such as the spelling of "your" and "youre". For example, someone comments on a facebook picture that you are tagged in, and says "your so pretty." My so pretty what? Learn to use proper english, like come on...the fridge is in the kitchen!
Bob: Where do i find Canada on a map of the world?
Joe: Are you kidding me? THE FRIDGE IS IN THE KITCHEN.

Patty: Your a amazing person, Tom.
Tom:....dear god...the fridge is in the kitchen.
by Proper. March 5, 2009
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An unavoidable mass of flesh that keeps your fresh produce chilled, requiring the attention of all near it. Smells vaguely of rotten cheese...

Often used to designate an obvious topic that needs to be addressed.
John: Hey Nick!
Nick: What?
John: We need to talk about the flesh fridge in the kitchen...
by alsonotmykoandsyd January 6, 2021
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An unavoidable mass of flesh that permits pedestrian crossing, requiring the attention of all near it. Smells vaguely of rotten chees. Often used to designate an obvious topic that needs to be addressed.
John: Hey Nick!
Nick: What?
John: We need to talk about the flesh bridge in the kitchen...
by notsydandmyko January 6, 2021
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Rat in the Kitchen

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An album and song from the British reggae band UB40 that came out in 1986. The song's catchy chorus goes..

There`s a rat in me kitchen what am I gonna do?
There`s a rat in me kitchen what am I gonna go?
I`m gonna fix that rat thats what I`m gonna do,
I`m gonna fix that rat.

He relates a guy talking shit to a rat being in his kitchen and how he's gonna "fix" him. Clever way to write relatively threatening lyrics to an upbeat song.
You know, there seems to be a rat in the kitchen.. and I don't like rats in my kitchen, SO I'M GOING TO FIX THAT RAT!
by *Brendan Hottie* August 23, 2010
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