Guido torpedo

Any kind of fast car that a guido would drive or does drive with the tendency to explode when driven into a solid structure at high speeds.

Guido "Did you hear about Kevin"
other Guido"no"
Guido "Well turns out he took out half of rite-aid with his guido torpedo when he was trying to get some hair gel"
other Guido "Fucking waste of a V-dub"

by Dirty Dorian March 29, 2007

Guido Machine

A car (usually crappy import 4 cylinder or domestic equiv) driven by a sad pathetic excuse for a male; not necessarily of Italian descent, but most likely; usually native to the New York/New Jersey Tri-State area. Usually outfitted with ridiculous rims, a ridiculous spoiler, etc, etc.

Damn, look at that disgusting guido machine.

by Douchebaggierie February 28, 2010

Guido Crown

A hair style, not always used by Italian males, where their hair is long and spiked up all around their head and not spiked in the middle of their head. Ususally there is an excess of gel used to achieve this look.

Giovanni goes out to clubs with his guido crown in hopes of attracing women.

by BiGirl422 May 22, 2009

Guido

an Italian American man usually residing in New York or New Jersey. He wears shirts that are too tight and unbuttoned 5 buttons too low to show off the chest that he spent hours and hours at the gym obtaining, he spends more time on his hair than his girlfriend, and continues to "hit the clubs" long into his mid to late 30's. Often attracted to the female version of himself, the guidette.

Could that guy at the bar be any greasier?! He is such a guido

by Liz August 20, 2003

guido workout

being able to bench press a car but not having the leg strength to carry their hairspray of tacky jewelry

That guido can't reach his arms to his undersized pockets because of his guido workout, so he is stuck in an infinite fist pump status

by squantch November 5, 2010

Guyco

A guy who is so hairy that he looks like he should be wearing and animal skin tunic and carrying a big wooden club like the cave men in the Geico commercials.

Look at that guyco wrestler on the other team,He looks like a woolly mammoth.

by wolfbait51 June 4, 2011

guido

The Guido is an entirely American phenomena, with its epicenter in the New York/ New Jersey metropolitan area. Although most of its examples are of Italian-American descent, manytimes other non-descript Caucasians will follow suit in an attempt to achieve an identity- in fact any identity. The Guido is highly recognizable by his attention to muscular development, status symbols, and regional dialect. Guidos are fortunate in that they usually tend to be loyal to their heritage and cultures. However, their interpretation of the Italian culture is unique to Americans. They fall sorrily short when attempting to emulate the sophistication of European-born men. In fact, their shortcomings include a tendency toward alcoholism, legal problems (usually related to assault, reckless driving, noise violations), and an inability to compete in legimate business. Fortunately for them, they usually live an exciting, care-free existance. They are easily satiated by tacky mall attire, drunken nights with similar-minded women, and nightclubbing in the lesser desired beach towns such as Seaside Heights, New Jersey. In the end, although they maintain a unique sense of identity and pride, their superficial lives often leave them empty. The tolls of excessive grooming products, STDs, and alcohol abuse age these specimens quite poorly. The time spent in fitness clubs is usually far offset by their lifestyle choices.

"Although he spends all his time in the gym and dancing in the clubs, that Guido will soon be a burned out alcoholic working a thankless job, living alone in his one-bedroom apartment in North Jersey"

by Dr B- psychiatrist December 28, 2005