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Failzard

A small, mild mannered lizard that becomes angry and aggressive when in the presence of failure. Typically attracted to live music in the southeast region of the U.S., Failzard can appear anywhere, anytime, and for any number of reasons. If you suck, you can be sure he's watching, and rest assured he'll let you know it.

History:

Failzard was first encountered in Tampa, Florida, at a storage facility frequented by musicians. Apparently irritated by the sound of some sub-par music, this extremely intelligent reptile made it's way up to the 2nd floor of a completely secure building, and into a storage unit where a local rock band was playing. It then tried to intimidate several band members in an attempt to get them to stop playing.

When they realized what was happening, the 5 piece band changed songs and saw something amazing - the lizard suddenly relaxed, exposed his large red neck, and started bobbing his head in time with the beat! They then reverted back to the first song and the lizard started charging them again. Clearly this normally docile reptile had an ear for music, and an attitude to go with it!

Since that time, Failzard has appeared at many fails, and has been sighted all across the Tampa Bay area.

If you'd like to become a fan you can find Failzard on Myspace and Facebook.
When Failzard appeared, little Carolyn stopped in the middle of her act, realizing she had lost the talent show.
by Failzard May 8, 2010
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flattard

Flattard (or flattards) stands for people who think the earth is flat.

Flattard is the contraction of "flat" and "retard".
"Stanley believes the earth is flat ? Why ?"
"I don't know, he is just a flattard."
by Thibo314 May 22, 2017
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Related Words

Flashtardian

One who turns on their emergency flashers while driving for no reason
Oh look the flashtardian is running their flashers.....Thank you Captain Obvious none of us would have seen the snow falling or the slick roads if you hadn’t turned on your flashers......
by Captain Obvious XXI November 29, 2018
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fliptard

Real Estate Flipper that was the last one in right before the Real Estate bubble went POP. They are now upside down in their Real Estate "Flip" and can not sell it, neither can they afford the mortgage.
All eight of Casey Serin's houses are going into foreclosure because he is nothing but a noob fliptard. (Iamfacingforclosure.com)
by FlyingMonkeyChick December 15, 2008
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Failtard

Someone or something who is both an epic failure and a complete fucking retard. This person or thing has no ammbition in life other than to piss people the hell off.
Chris: OMG that MisterJenkins is on the dam forums again.
Ian: Ahh man, that guy's a fucking failtard!
Chris: I'm gonna delete the motherfucker's posts.
Ian: Pwned!
by Azayles May 6, 2008
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flaketard

A whiner who posts rants on Facebook, who never calls back and invents ridiculous stupid ideas like "flaketard"
Yo T, why you such a flaketard beatch!
by Tiiisuuun May 7, 2010
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flaptard

A variation of the word "fucktard", used and created on www.zug.com, the world's only comedy site.
You sir, are a flaptard.
by D-Stock September 11, 2003
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