congrasturbating

Creating a problem that affects millions of people, then praising oneself for fixing only the small part of the problem that affects you and then masturbating.

congrasturbating - what your congress did today

by Jon Stewart the twntyfourth April 30, 2013

congrajewlations

It's when you congratulate your jewish friends.

- Hey Joshua, congrajewlations on your wedding with Sarah! Mazel tov!

by WordWhiz September 19, 2015

Congress

Where lobbyists go to buy their laws.

Big Corporation: Hmm this toxic waste dumping regulation seems to be affecting our business.

Lobbyist: No problem I'll just pop down to Congress and buy a new one.

by EveryTypeofCake November 22, 2011

congratufuckinglations

expressing extreme sarcasm

joe: hey guess what?
john: what?
joe: i just saved 15% or more by switching to geico
john: CONGRATUFUCKINGLATIONS!!!! would you like a cookie?

by G_Collins June 27, 2005

El psy congroo!

An infamous catchphrase from a certain Mad Scientist.

Anyone after watching Steins;Gate will have a 75% chance of saying this and also probably putting a banana into a microwave.

Makise Kurisu: What are you doing?
Hououin Kyouma: THIS IS HOUOUIN KYOUMA, IT HAS SEEMED THE ORGANIZATION SENT A SPY AGAINST ME, EL PSY CONGROO!

by CubicBeingUnFunny February 27, 2023

concrastination

Opposite of procrastination, when one starts on a task almost as soon as it is assigned, and does not rest until the task is done

The concrastinators of the class were working on their homework as soon as the teacher wrote it on the board.

by Dan McClure October 24, 2004

Congress

A group of people so corrupted by money that they have no idea how the normal American thinks, but apparently knows enough to tell us what we can and cannot do.

Man From Congress: Who in here would honestly sell their private jet and fly commercial?

by AnonymousVoxPopuli March 27, 2012