Condom

Haven't you heard?

If you're gonna make LOVE,

WEAR a GLOVE!!!

CAUSE SAFE SEX is GREAT SEX,

So you Better WEAR a LATEX,

Cause you don't want that LATE TEXT,

That I THINK I'M LATE TEXT!!!

Ha Ha, So wrap it up!!!

My flo so cold Chicken soup won't Help!!!

Jeremy- "I don't want to use a condom. I just don't feel anything."

Girl 1- "It's ok. I'm on the pill, baby."

Girl 2- {Two hours later} "Tough luck buddy. I got too much going on in my life to fuck it all up now."

by Q. Jakers August 12, 2009

Nebraskan Condom

1. A plastic bag filled with wet corn that is used for Nebraskan sex, or fishing.

Trevor is using his Nebraskan condom to catch some spoonies at the river

by FfruitCakeE August 10, 2009

condiment thief

A pesky prick roommate who always uses up all YOUR condiments. Be careful for these people as they are known for being very slick and sly. They'll use a little here and a little there until it is all gone. Then to top it off they won't tell you they used it so that when you have your meal all ready save for a couple condiments you approach the fridge to find the containers in the fridge all but empty.

Doug: Sucks living with my roommate Tim I can't ever fully enjoy my meal.

Mikey: He one of those condiment thiefs?

Doug: Yeah...

Mikey: What a fuckin' prick

by Mike Schrampfey November 28, 2012

broken condom

How Half my classmates got here.

Lil Kurt's dad used one....and he regrets it every day!

by Shawn B. April 17, 2003

Redneck Condom

A plastic bag and a rubber band

well shucks, we ran out of cock covers so lets make one o' thems redneck condoms

by cvhondacv July 10, 2009

Spiky Condom

The Spiky Condom is a shot of alcohol consisting of Goldschlager, Grenadine, Crown Royal, and Red Bull. The shot must be taken quickly and should NEVER be smelled before consumption. The first and most recognizable ingredient, Goldschlager, is the spikes of the Spiky Condom. It is then followed by the Crown Royal which counteracts the "Big Red" flavor making your taste buds pulsate, all while keeping it classy. The Grenadine was chosen for it's deep red color properties, which of course hints at the consequences of a Spiky Condom (Both literally and figuratively). Lastly, the Red Bull puts everything back into perspective by bringing two of your five senses back for a very short period of time. Your vision and your hearing. Use this time wisely as your clear vision and ability to understand people will disappear as quickly as you took the shot.

Bartender: "What can I get you?"

John: "Gimme a Red Bull Vodka, two Jack and Cokes, and 6 Spiky Condoms."

Bartender: "..."

by thehouss October 14, 2011

Trojan Condom

The most trusted condom on the market

Good thing I had my Trojan Condom because I don't need more kids

by Dr. D3ath August 17, 2005