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Colbert Hair

Colbert Hair is a fluid synthesis of dynamic characteristics that drive the success of The Colbert Report. Like the eye on the dollar bill, the hairdryer in Colbert's crest casts a conservative net of hairspray on tyranny. Flowing on parallel paths, the shinyness, perfectness, and mind oozing schmegmatic funness of Colbert Hair blend into a love hate cauldron of bitchslap.
I woke up one day, put my balls in my backpack, shelacked my hair, and said "... damn, it is a Colbert Hair day."

Your friend may approach you, and instead of saying, "Dude, your freakin hair looks tits today," he may exclaim, "For shit sakes pimpstick, you've got the Colbert Hair!"

If your hair is so devine as to shine and protect, then you have Colbert Hair. If you purchassed Colbert's sperm in a can at Walmart and used it as gel, then you have Colbert Hair. If you have been arguing with your inner voice about who's claw-like bangs would work in a fight, a latina or mormon polygamyst, then you may or may not have Colbert Hair.

The other day I had Colber Hair, but I just pulled that shit out of the fucking drain and dumped that schmegma right into my buttcrack just to see what it felt like.
by Cooter86 August 16, 2010
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Colbert Absinthe-tinence Pledge

A solemn promise to refrain from Absinthe ingestion to prevent the ear-severing, cubo-witticisms (or worse) that would inherently bloom. It is vowed as follows:

"I, (state your name), do hereby pledge to practice absinth-tinence by remaining absinth-tinent from Absinthe. Since Absinthe incidents in many instances induce incipient syn(es)thetic inspiration and sinsister synthetic insistence on sin, I sincerely insist I will be absent from instances of Absinthe ingestion, this instant.”
After completing the Absinthe ritual several times over with newly-made friends from Argentina, Quebec City and Gainesville, Florida (state your name) shot to his feet and bolted toward the waterfront and a club on the pier of beautiful Barcelona, in search of adventure. Little did he realise, he would end up having his balls grabbed by that dirty Spaniard Frank, leaning in for a kiss or something, all after inviting (state your name) back to his apartment to wait for his "hot journalist friends in little skirts" that didn't end up meeting him at the club. Waking up at his hostel late in the afternoon, (state your name)'s face was pale green-opalescent white like the colour of Absinthe mixed with water.

In hindsight, the Colbert Absinthe-tinence Pledge would have made a helluva lot of sense.
by Blair Larratt November 19, 2007
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colbert

Stephen Colbert, host of the Colbert report. The sexiest comedian on television, not to mention his amazing chemistry with Jon Stewart. In addition, Colbert is also a great dancer, can flip to his desk, and obviously, is very handsome.
by natalie m January 21, 2007
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Colbert Sandwich

(noun) Two Pringles Potato Chips separated by a layer of whipped cream.
1) Damn these Colbert Sandwiches are great! Why didn't I think to make these before?!

2) My blood stopped moving after eating so many Colbert Sandwiches.

3) God bless America, and my Colbert Sandwich.
by steviebuns69 March 31, 2010
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colberted

To hold a politician accountable, face to face.

Originally from the French "Colberiser: Régler face à face, ses comptes avec un politicien." (http://www.manumilitari.net/?p=525)
Donald Rumsfeld was colberted when Ray McGovern confronted him with documented evidence of Rumsfeld saying things he had just denied saying.
by --none-- July 30, 2008
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Stephen Colbert

1. Crumbelievable
2. God
3. Funny T.V. Host on Comedy Central. He truly sets himself apart from the Daily show which is very impressive and was originally surprising.
1. Stephen Colbert is CRUMBELIEVABLEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
2. Stephen is God.
3. Stephen is a good TV show host...
by Thor B December 9, 2006
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Stephen Colbert Syndrome

The process of transitioning from a satiric depiction of a thing to the very thing you once parodied. Named after Stephen Colbert, who originally played the character right wing ideologue named "Stephen Colbert", who told yo what to think. Over time, he has become the Blue State equivalent of his earlier "Stephen Colbert" character. He has come full circle.
You know how originally she mocked bad weepy singer-songwriters? Now she takes herself seriously and has misses her own joke. Stephen Colbert Syndrome!
by TrustFalls January 22, 2021
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