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Magic Carpet Ride

Getting eaten out by a dude with a beard.
My boyfriend never shaves when he's on vacation. I hope I get a magic carpet ride!
by Siouxsie Supertramp July 9, 2021
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shit of my career

A landmark bowel movement, followed by a tremendous sense of relief.
"I just had the shit of my career," Amy said with a sly grin.
by texasguy September 28, 2006
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Carpet Baby

When a baby is conceived by semen picked up off of the carpet. Often done by the "scooting method" where the male ejaculates onto the carpet and then the female scoots her vagina across the semen-covered area.
Ethan's insecurities arose upon the discovery that he himself was a carpet baby.

Oooo that boy is so fine I’d have his carpet babies!
by bobsagetlover1 August 9, 2010
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Career

Something that society forces upon people, esp. nowadays. If you do not have a career, people automatically assume you are a lazy good-for-nothing bum. An unnecessary thing to have, and it's a shame that so many people spend all their lives aspiring to have a career. The concept is installed into most western children from birth, as their first twenty-odd years of their life is dedicated to "education", which generally teaches people to become "clever". Being "clever" means you will have a "good" career.

The majority of humans hate their careers, and up dying miserable. But hey, at least they paid off their mortgage.

Also, a pretentious way of saying "job".
"Careers are a twentieth century invention, and I don't want one" - Christopher McCandless:
by GenericPseudonym10621 May 30, 2009
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carpet custard

the semi-dry gelatinous goo found on the floor by your other half's PC, usually amongst the crumpled tissues.
wtf's all that carpet custard doing there? I just cleaned this fucking floor you wanker!
by UKP August 21, 2010
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carpet snorter

Slang term for a cocaine addict who has dropped their blow onto the carpet.
I have hung out with many a carpet snorter in my day.
by Dr Bunnygirl July 6, 2020
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F Carpet Bomb

Like f-bomb, this is a euphemism for saying "fuck" but with added the twist of drawing the word out in length.
Guy #1: What the fuuuuuuuuuuck?!
Guy #2: Nice f carpet bomb.
by ookami80 March 7, 2009
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