Functioning alcoholic

When one can be drunk every night and still be completely function able the next day

Nate went out every night this week and got totally shit faced. He still got to work the next morning at 8... He's a functioning alcoholic

by Tater tot 5190 June 30, 2014

alcoholic

Someone who drinks in the shower.

That motherfucker was drinking a keystone in the shower. That motherfucker is an alcoholic.

by Motherfucker Dick October 19, 2008

Functional alcoholic

Someone who can maintain an orderly, outward social appearance while their personal life has devolved into complete chaos due to over-drinking. Their friends and family are often impressed with their achievements, while the alcoholic knows that their drinking has lead to a full-blown loss of control and that it is just a matter of time until their behavior blows up in their face. In a bad way.

Emelio's friends/family: " Emelio is about to graduate med school. We are so proud. We only wish we could accomplish as much".

Emelio: "I am a functional alcoholic. Everyone I know thinks I'm doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. I can't believe I BS'd my way through med school and got a 3.8 GP because I don't remember any of it. I can't believe I'm almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a DUI thus far. Everyone thinks I'm so great, but in reality, I'm totally fucking dangerous but I just haven't been caught yet. It's all catching up with me though. It's only a matter of time until I do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a fuck-up I truly am.

by ???s upon ???s September 1, 2016

alcoholidays

St. Patrick's Day, Halloween, Mardi Gras. Those days that seem to, at least for college students, exist solely for the purpose of getting shit-faced drunk, with rituals often beginning as early as morning and continuing throughout the day.

Bob: Dude! I'm so drunk right now. We started drinking every time we see spongebob squarepants, and they are running a Halloween Marathon.
Ted: Happy Alcoholidays!

by Matthew Lake November 20, 2007

alcoholic

A person who always feels two drinks behind.

"I just woke up, how can I already be two drinks behind?"

or

"Alcoholic? What's that?"

by Teo Cherub July 15, 2009

assoholic

a chronic condition usually associated with constant asshole
behavior. This condition is non gender specific

Sally: I went out with Jerry last night and he kept hitting on the waitrees.

Patty: Jerry must be an assoholic. Dump him, girl!

by pretty wings September 11, 2009

alcoholicfetus

A fetus who's parent is an alcoholic and will most likely be born with problems and become and alcoholic.

"Damn look at that retarded guy drink! He must've been an alcoholicfetus"

by alcoholicfetus July 14, 2009