as absolute zero is to temperature, absolutestink is to farts. when someone unlooses an absolutestink, everything within a 14 foot diameter is vaporized instantly. those who are in the 14-30 foot range will no longer be able to smell anything for the rest of their lives, except the smell of #openass. for most people, the prospect of a life lived this way is too much to bear, and they off themselves within 1-2 days. in the 30-2000 foot range, most people will have chronic diarrhea or adult onset retardation.
i was heffin cyber sex with my girlfriend jim the other day, and she unleashed a monstrosity which displayed absolutestink. fortunately, she lives in russia so i was physically unaffected, however the sounds of human bodies being mangled in the background will haunt me forever.
by trilliam turdsworth January 18, 2024
Get the absolutestink mug.Proffers that society is a dialectic between people with high levels of sex hormones and people with low levels of sex hormones.
Anathematic to historical materialism which posits that society is a conflict between high-capital people and low-capital people.
Anathematic to historical materialism which posits that society is a conflict between high-capital people and low-capital people.
by zanderfin August 23, 2020
Get the bio-absolutism mug.The insight that claims of absolute, unchanging truth (divine command, totalitarian ideology, scientific certainty) are not the antithesis of construction, but its most aggressive form. Absolutism is built by rigorously eliminating contradictions, declaring its foundations sacred or beyond question, and constructing entire social systems—laws, education, punishments—to reinforce the illusion that its truth is eternal, natural, and not a human-made edifice. It's construction that denies its own constructed nature.
Example: "The dictator's cult wasn't just belief; it was the Theory of Constructed Absolutism in action. His every word became 'The Eternal Truth.' History was rewritten, art was purged, and critics vanished to construct a reality where his rule was as absolute and unquestionable as gravity. The 'absoluteness' was a terrifyingly elaborate social production, maintained by fear and spectacle, not a fact of the universe."
by Abzu Land January 31, 2026
Get the Theory of Constructed Absolutism mug.Absolution: When you giving it to your wife from behind but you suddenly have the urge to take a big shit and your son comes right on time to swap you and you keep hearing your wife's moans as you lay down the biggest turd of the history of turds
Man 1 : I am so happy I have a family now, used absolution yesterday. Great way to bond more with your son
Man 2: I know its those small things that matter.
Man 2: I know its those small things that matter.
by geoxd657 April 13, 2018
Get the Absolution mug.Coz every night I will save your life.
And every night I will be with you.
Coz every night I still lay awake in my dream,
of an Absolution.
Coz every night I will make it right.
And every night I will come to you.
But every night it just stays the same in my dream,
of an Absolution.
And every night I will be with you.
Coz every night I still lay awake in my dream,
of an Absolution.
Coz every night I will make it right.
And every night I will come to you.
But every night it just stays the same in my dream,
of an Absolution.
by FBI_WeegeeBoy1243 November 19, 2021
Get the Absolution mug.The comparison of two items with properties. The first being that one average item trumps the other average item but if both items are "good" then the reverese is true and item 2 becomes better.
grass absolutes turf.
meaning your average turf is better than your average grass pitch but a good grass pitch is better than a good turf.
or
brunettes absolutes blondes.
meaning your average blonde is better looking than an average brunette but a 10/10 brunette is more attractive than the 10/10 blonde
meaning your average turf is better than your average grass pitch but a good grass pitch is better than a good turf.
or
brunettes absolutes blondes.
meaning your average blonde is better looking than an average brunette but a 10/10 brunette is more attractive than the 10/10 blonde
by Oh My Goodness :O December 31, 2024
Get the absolutes mug.X: "dude he literally told everyone about our secret"
Y: "the groups leader loves to use absolutionification on random people, you'll get used to it"
Y: "the groups leader loves to use absolutionification on random people, you'll get used to it"
by pytlvwgolf4 April 11, 2026
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