spank the kitty

Lady masturbation.

For personal hygiene reasons, you should always wash your hands before you spank the kitty.

by tonyfamous October 4, 2010

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Spank the monkey

An American state sport, in other words, jacking off. Numerous other ways of saying this include Beating the meat, playing the devil’s fiddle (for you Christian white guys).

Viktor: Dude, you gotta come see this photo of Mia Khalifa!
James: Gimme a sec, I’m gonna go spank the monkey...

by Goddamnit James February 7, 2018

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to spank the monkey

to masturbate... to do the the dirty deed, in a few words to deal with your sexual needs by yourself

Guy 1: How did it go last night?
Guy 2: Not so good, so I had to spank the monkey!

by Monkey Business March 18, 2011

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Spank the plankton

1. When you try to make a dank meme but fail

2. When you try to suck someone’s ankles, but they dodge it by kicking you in the face

1.
P1 My meme I edited for 4 hours got only 3 likes!

P2 Damn that meme really spank the plankton

2.
P1 I tried to suck my girlfriend’s ankles last night, but she ended up breaking my jaw! That bitch spank the plankton!

by Omegle’s May 14, 2018

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Spank the Midget

An act that marks the beginning of the end of a once successful career. Inspired by the artist, Miley Cyrus, when she brought midget back-up dancers on stage only to spank their tiny heinies.

Similar to the phrase, "Jump the Shark," coined when the character Fonzie water-skied over a shark in the hit show, "Happy Days." This episode was the epitome of a show losing ratings and resorting to desperate acts to raise view counts.

Britney Spears is going to spank the midget by going to Vegas.

by Jiggle Monkey September 22, 2013

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