Having a fully erect penis, that is so hard and ready for sexy time, that it is totally capable of pounding even solid brick to smithereens.
Holy Shit! My dick is so hard I could lay a brick! That's right, I could literally pound the virginity out of a solid brick! So, anyway, what's your mom doing tonight?
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My dick is so hard I could lay a brick
mug!
An orgasm that a woman has whenever she's getting fucked while standing up.
I didn't want to fuck your mom on my bed because I just put clean sheets on it, so I threw her up against the wall an fucked her so hard I gave her a Standing O.
The act of subjecting yourself to unwanted or improper sexual advances or activity, from yourself.
What masturbators do, even though everybody knows masturbation is a perverted sin that will eventually lead to blindness, really hairy hands and complete insanity. :-P
I spent all last night molesting myself. Damn, my dick is sore!
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molesting myself
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Lady masturbation.
For personal hygiene reasons, you should always wash your hands before you spank the kitty.
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spank the kitty
mug!
Pinching a biscuit is what happens when you go to the bathroom to take a huge dump, or " pinch a loaf ", but wind up being really costipated and only dropping a small turd.
I'm so fucking constipated that I can't even pinch a biscuit.
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pinch a biscuit
mug!
Acne treatment for poor people.
I asked the Doctor at the free Clinic what I can do to get rid of all the zits on my face and I told him it's got to be cheap because I can't afford no Lasers or Proactiv or even Clearasil. He told me pimple popping is free.
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Pimple Popping
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Working the clay: To engage in sexual foreplay, like in that scene with the Pottery Wheel that was in that movie Ghost. A shirtless Patrick Swayze came all up behind Demi Moore and started massaging a big phallic looking clump of clay, then sticking his fingers in her clay and then she got all hot and sexy and totally fucked up the vase she was working on and then they had really intensely passionate R-rated movie sex with fake multiple orgasms. Because of this movie scene enrollment in Pottery Making Classes went through the roof! :-D
Demi Moore is so old and decrepit now that Ashton Kutcher must have to spend at least an hour " working the clay " before even attempting to stick his dick in her sandbox and I'm sure as hell that he still would get a dry burn on his dick so bad that it would require multiple skin grafts!
Ashton: Hey Demi. Could you slap on a little more Geriatric K-Y please! I think there are sparks shooting off my dick!
Demi: Did you hear that cracking noise! I think you just broke my hip!!!
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Working the clay
mug!
