Straightener

A term used by a middle aged, obese, melodramatic, sweaty, cowardly, bully who can’t walk more than 10 yards without needing a shit, a bag of crisps and a can of coke in order to catch his breath. The term is believed to originate in Yiewsley and is used by twats/chavs that still wear football shirts despite approaching 50 years old.

That honest, well respected gent that looks after my kids more than me has been mugging me off - I think he needs a straightener.

by AlanBennet01 August 21, 2018

Straighteners

Short for hair straighteners (or irons). Quicker and easier to say than hair straighteners.

Becky: Annie, pass me the straighteners please.
Annie: Sure!

by ZebraBuffalo May 29, 2013

banana straightener

straightens bananas straight

how in the hortense do i straiten my bananas without a banana straitener.

by fabrizio May 13, 2005

Hair Straightener

When pubic hair is caught in the foreskin of an uncircumcised penis; usually in a painful way. Almost always accidental.

Dude, I got a gnarly Hair Straightener last night!

by wordier January 10, 2014

straightline

Similar to the 'Hot Carl' sexual maneuver, where one partner defecates in the other's mouth.

Brent straightlined his domestic partner Brad.

by Whitey August 19, 2003

lesbonic straightness

When you act like a lesbian despite the fact that you're straight.

Girl 1: "I love you!"
Girl 2: "I love you more!"
Guy 1: "Stupid lesbians..."
Girl 1: "ACTUALLY, it's called 'lesbonic straightness', dumbass - we aren't really lesbians"

by chickenXscratch March 30, 2009

Dan's Straightness

Dan's straightness does not exist anywhere on this earth.

Oh look! Dan's straightness isn't there. Dan's straightness: Something that someone named Dan does not have, is gay. synonyms: Gay Bisexual Not straight

by Luckyy_Bruhh May 4, 2020