spandex monkey

Uber bicyclist completely clad in spandex. Often the spandex suit is covered with logos of corporations and other brand names to make it look as if they were sponsored racers - the irony being they actually paid to be a rolling advertisement. They often tend to be aggressive riders in inappropriate settings, like public trails.

While riding on the trail yesterday, I was passed by a clod of spandex monkeys.

by Chazzer July 18, 2007

spandex nazi

crazy fast spandex wearing skiers on cross country trails who hog the trail as they breeze past you.

(falling down) God Damn Spandex Nazi's

by Burbank May 26, 2004

Spandex space

Noun - the mysterious place where Heero keeps his gun. And, presumably, all of his belongings. Can hold an infinite amount of objects, located in one's spandex shorts. Brings whole new meaning to the phrase "it defies conventional measurement". See also hammerspace

Spandex space can hide a multitude of sins . . .

by Kuma February 26, 2004

spandex boy

Another masked superhero affiliated with JXK. His signature costume is a pink leotard and green tights, coupled with a white mask over his eyes. Spandex Boy fights crime on the streets of the TNT with the aid of his trusty weapon, the Ass-Lasso™.

Oh my god, it's Spandex Boy! Get a camera! Get his autograph! Get a load of that spandex!

by Killboy November 26, 2003

spandex storm

A group of riders either riding mountain bikes or road bikes wearing spandex. The spandex can be in matching colors to the rest of their kit.

Rode through a spandex storm on the singletrack this afternoon.

by 2ahoy July 15, 2017

spandex goggles

Cousin to beer goggles. The metaphorical goggles worn when observing another person wearing form-fitting attire of spandex. The resulting disruption of vision makes a person's physique appear more noteworthy than the reality is likely to be.

man 1 Did you see that yoga girl back there? She was so attractive!
man 2 I'm not so sure, I think you may have had your spandex goggles on.

by Group Dynamics May 14, 2015

spandex-tard

Cyclists who wear spandex and use traffic lanes instead of the readily available and perfectly paved bike trails in every major city.

Bob: hey man, pass this douche

Lenny: I don't want to pass this cyclist because he's hogging the lane. Therefore, I will slow to a crawl, and the the traffic behind us will blame the spandex-tard. Lulz.

by Jacob K Reist January 11, 2009