Biblical series! It'
s the thing! It's time for the thing! The thing I was doing from before. The Biblical series.
God "Heyheyhey, check it it out. Check out that
guy over there."
Lucifer 😑 "Another boat
guy? What is wrong with-"
Philistine "AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" *THUD*
Lucifer "HOLY SHIT!"
God "Yeah! Right!?"
Lucifer "He threw that guy, like, 40 feet in the air! I mean... I could throw a guy higher than that but they don't do that! What the
hell did you do!?"
God "I made a deal."
Lucifer "A deal? A deal for what?"
God "Well.. I give him super strength... And HE... Grows his hair out."
Lucifer 😟 "What could you possibly have to gain from him growing out his
fucking- Jesus, he is mangling those
fucking guys..."
God "No, Jesus was the me-
guy this is Samson- Wait... Is that...
Yet? Where ARE we, like, chronologically speaking?" 🤔
Lucifer "What IS that in his hand!?"
God "
Donkey jaw."
Lucifer "The JAW of a
donkey?"
God "Yup."
Lucifer 😨 "Did he mutilate a
donkey just to do that!? Who is that for!?"
God 🤷 ♂️ "I donno. It's a good weapon I guess."
Lucifer "IT ISN'T THAT, THOUGH! IT ISN'T! It can't possibly BE that! AT ALL!"
God "I mean, he's killed like 784 guys with it already so... Ya know... It's hard to say isn't a good weapon..."
Lucifer 😑 "Say that you genuinely believe a
donkey jaw is a good weapon. Say it out loud."
God "Well... Yeah... The super strength is probably doing a lot of the legwork... But he's having fun. And that's what counts."
Lucifer "Pffft! Hahahahaha! That is stupid. This is fucking stupid. I'm done. This is dumb."
God "What? Where are you... *sigh* Well I think it's
cool... Kachow! Kachow! Jaw-stab! Kachow! Super jaw-stab! Heheheheheh..."