Pastorbating

Jacking off to Jesus.

Originated from- PastorBanning. The guy who dies first in Tales of Symphonia.

I couldn't get to sleep last night because I could hear my neighbors pastorbating.

by ilubbbbjesus April 25, 2009

Pastoral Symphony

This refers to a badass piece in the middle of Handel's Messiah Part I. Fully instrumental. Can also refer to other random instrumental pieces of the same name, but no one really cares about those.

Pastoral Symphony Handel Baroque Symphony Badass

by njtonova1515 December 14, 2009

pastriality

A fetish where an individual engages in sexual intercouse with pastries, such as cakes, cupcakes, upside down cakes, and lemon cakes. People who practice pastriality typically refer to these pastries as fuckcakes.

"Osifer, get yur hands off o' me, pastriality ain't no crime. Nuthin' wrong with givin' a cake a good fuck."

by Audacious P October 15, 2008

Pastorize

The act of molestation upon a minor, as performed by a pastor.

Pastorize, pastorized, pastorization.

I am going to pastorize this choir by.
I don't go to church because I was pastorized.
There have been a cavelcade of pastorization cases in town.

by Queefmobile December 20, 2020

Pastorbation

This occurs when an ordained pastor masturbates.

The pastor chose to pull out her Hitachi Magic Wand and polish her pearl. She just hoped no one would be the wiser about her midday Pastorbation session.

by mck73 February 12, 2014

Pastoralia

The study of the theology and practice of Christian pastoral ministry.

Discussion of why and how to conduct home and hospital Eucharistic visitation is one type of pastoralia

by Fr. Frank January 30, 2012

Jaco Pastorius

Is a terrible, yet very famous bass player, known mainly for playing with the band Weather Report in the 70's and 80's.

A typical bass solo for Jaco would be him hitting random notes on his bass guitar, rarely in the same key. He would slap his fingers all around the fretboard, not knowing what he was doing, because he was constantly strung out on heroin, crack-cocaine and other illicit substances. All-in-all, Jaco's solos were a Charlie Foxtrot

These mockeries that Jaco called solos, would make any real musician extremely angry, yet the average un-educated Jaco fan would listen to his terrible solos and think he is ... "experimental" and actually knows how to play bass, when in truth, he did not.

Jaco died in 1987 probably because he took too many drugs, because he was retarded. He deserved it. He was a stain on the musical community and all real musicians are happy he's gone.

Hi, I'm Jaco Pastorius, I'm gonna slap some random noises on my bass and get paid ridiculously well for it.

by Real Bass Player February 3, 2010