Maltese Terrier

A small white fluffy dog, apparently selectively bred to present this appearance since Roman times. They were perfectly good wolves before that. Their hair never sheds or stops growing, which means that they can become a hideous walking dreadlock in the blink of an eye. Often inbred to the extent that they need all of their rotten teeth pulled out by a vet before the age of six, it is debatable whether the Maltese is capable of learning discipline. They are given to ceaseless yapping, wissing on rugs and biting (with aforementioned rotten teeth- they have hellbreath) and are never reprimanded for such crimes by their fat, matronly, indulgent owners who need something totally dependent on them to cuddle because their beloved son has rebelled and moved out of home to become a skinhead.

Nurse: Oh, great. Another five cages full of Maltese Terriers today. Total dental removals, or all-over body shaves?
Vet: Both. Get the gas....

by The Hideous Damsel January 2, 2006

malteaser

a girl ( or boy ) who is a brunette/dark haired person who does stupid things, or has "blonde moments"

eg, a brunette walks into a glass door! everyone calls the brunette a malteaser as she had a "blonde moment" cuz the brunette is dark outside but blonde inside just like a malteaser

by maryanne bob May 18, 2007

Maltese Langers

Pool player who cannot avoid potting the white on important shots. Tends to lose out to thegreatgatsby on RTG powerplays.

"Look, John, he's potted the white again."
"Yes, Dennis, how many times are we going to see him do that?"

by thegreatgatsby October 24, 2003

bum malteasers

those little lumps of poo that come out in groups of 6,000,000 when you've eaten too much fibre. usually hard. always float. also known as phantom poo due to the lack of left overs they leave on your bum.

"omg. that rice gave me total bum malteasers"

by msfg May 27, 2006

maltese

a person from the rock nation / island of malta

coldplay are real maltese

by josh1287 January 24, 2011

Malteser

A very small piece of poo that simply won't flush away!

A malteser is usually done by skinny anorexic girls who don't eat enough to do big grown up poos!

by Naughty teacher! April 2, 2013

Maltese Cross

Sex position where one partner dresses up as a holy-land crusader and the other like a nun. The use of the Maltese Cross symbol on clothing is mandatory. One partner then urinates on dirt and flings it on the other such that they form the appearance of muddy urine casts.

Yo, we had a theme date last night. We watched Kingdom of Heaven, did a Maltese Cross, and ended with some Hookah and Age of Empires II.

by ldawg88 April 14, 2011