I Learned The Clarinet at School

I give fantastic blowjobs.

John: I learned the clarinet at school.

Sherlock: Uh...

by There I fixed it. November 4, 2012

I learned the clarinet at school

An innuendo alluding to the speaker's blowjob skills.

'I learned the clarinet at school.'
'I look forward to it.'

'Have sex with me.'
'Why should I?'
'Come on, I learned the clarinet at school.'
'COMING!'

by Johnlock November 4, 2012

Fuck I Never Actually Learned Shit

In one word: FINALS!!

F uck
I
N ever
A ctually
L earned
S hit

Me: "hey did you take your finals?"
Steve: "yea, but fuck it I never actually learned shit!"

by Nexus December 13, 2004

i learned it from watching you

tag line from an 80's anti-smoking commercial where a father confronts his son about drugs he found in his room. also a clever way to throw something back into the accuser's face.

"Who taught you how to do this stuff?"
"From you, dad. I learned it from watching you!"

Comment submitted with request to Delete: "I have a general compaint about all the words that have 5 in them. mitch hedberg said this in a famous caomeyd routine cd. 1 can not hold 2 thats why they made 2 becasue if one where in 2 it would be flowing over. 2 in 1 shampoo does not work if that worked there would be shit flowing all over the side of the bottle 2 does not fit in 1 and 5 is not a word for a dictionary it is a sentence."

by mean dean September 2, 2003

Whaddup I'm Jared I'm 19 and I never fucking learned how to read

Whaddup I'm Jared I'm 19 and I never fucking learned how to read is a vine reference used by nostalgic people who miss vine

"Hey could you read page 21 for the class?"
"No I can not WHADDUP I'M JARED I'M 19 AND I NEVER FUCKING LEARNED HOW TO READ

by Kirbylove May 6, 2018

my learned friend

In a British court of law, the free/hired legal representation. Often used to point out discrepancies between what the representation said and what the evidence or testimony claimed.

Can be used for defence or prosecution lawyers.

Your honour, you may be so kind to notice that my learned friend made several incorrect assumptions early in this case, and based on her uncertainty over these matters, that what she said be stricken from the record.

by Gumba Gumba April 11, 2004

Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion

Actually written before the Revolution, by the Okhrana or secret police of the old Tsarist regime, round about the year 1900. Popularised by the later Communist leadership, the Nazis and others. Up there with the environmentalist "Chief Seattle" speech, the volley of excuses for the 2003 war in Iraq, Piltdown Man and the Donation of Constantine as one of the great fakes of history.

If you are suffering from insomnia, might I recommend you read this copy of the Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion?

by Fearman July 14, 2007