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Tea and Crumpets

British codeword meaning Beer and Hos. Sometimes used when one wants to ditch an undesirable third member of their party by making their night sound boring. Other times used to signal its time to leave, or it is often used to fool the commoner.
Bloke, you ready to get some tea and crumpets tonight?(high fives)

Chap 1: So what are you fellows doing tonight?
Chaps 2 and 3: Oh, nothing, thought we might go and get some tea and crumpets.
Chap 1: Oh, well i better be off
Chaps 2 and 3:.....Score!

Mother: where do you think your going laddy?
Son: Oh nowhere mummy, just thought i'd go get some tea and crumpets?
Mother: Ok, well have fun deary!
by TastyShakes December 2, 2010
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tea and crumpets

the only things they eat and drink in europe
european restaurant menu:
1. tea and crumpets - 5 euros
2. crumpets and tea - 5 pounds
by pseudonymphet November 1, 2019
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T-bag and crumpets

The act of T-bagging someone or something and leaving pubic lice on or above there eye line/on there eye brow(s).
Jenny:Damn it!!......
Person: What?
Jenny: I had to shave me eyebrows last night.
Person: Why?
Jenny: Because i had some T-bag and crumpets last night.
Person: Oh, well at least it was just your brother that gave you the lice. It is nasty to get lice from people you don't know.
by TwistedFaith June 6, 2010
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spitting crumpets

"That Charli XCX is spitting crumpets on that new track, she should stick to autotune!"
by bad brenda March 6, 2020
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tea and crumpets

The act of a male individual throwing a reverse cowgirl or squatting over a woman or man, and dipping his nutsack and cock (aka man junk) into their mouth and making sure his asshole is grinding on their nose.
Usually reserved for an especially vicious slam, use of this phrase can be for the fun of it.

“You just served up some tea and crumpets”
“Would you like some tea and crumpets?”
by bike dick March 6, 2009
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teabag and crumpets

While a girl is giving you a ball-bath, you drop small terds on her heads.
If the filthy whore wants a teabag and crumpets, she'll get it.
by William PTC June 13, 2006
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