Croton-on-Hudson, NY

A small, tight-knit community in Northwest Westchester County, NY, population 7,606 (2000). The village was formerly an idealistic communist stronghold, but has since devolved into a hamlet of bourgeois consumers, driven by false needs. The families are quite diverse with about 10% being gainfully employed intellectuals, artists, architects, and musicians, 10% bankers and attorneys, 25% NYC cops, firefighters, and MTA workers, 35% unemployed, middle-aged writers, software geeks, and rich lesbians who lie to themselves about "working at home" or being "self-employed." About 20% are retired, just plain lazy, or various Latino minority working in the landscaping business. The architecture is somewhere between late 19th-century Northeast and 1950s trailerpark. The hodgepodge of styles is a visual abomination and only a catastrophe at the nearby Indian Point Nuclear Power Plant will save it. The village's main industry is parking, given the 2200-space lot at the MTA train station. The second largest industry is aluminum siding. The children of the village are all taught to love one another and sign meaningless pieces of paper pledging to "be nice" or to "not do drugs." However, they begin to smoke marijuana and drink Bud Light in the 8th grade. They love to hang out at Power Lines and generally waste their precious time. Sports are big in the area, with all manner of athletic diversion taking the place of academic achievment. Many youth pretend to be thugs, though they have no real knowledge of African-American culture other than what they glean from MTV Cribs and Chapelle's Show. No one in the village really gives much of a fuck about anything, which, according to most analysts, make it a dope place to live.

The reason I moved to Croton is because my husband can commute 45 minutes into the City, I can stay at home volunteering at the food bank, and we don't have to mow our lawn.

by Sean O'Hallorhan May 28, 2005

futon crouton

Any small to fairly sized object that falls between the cushions of a couch, commonly rediscovered after as much as a year of confinement in said furniture. Notable types include Goldfish, Cheez-Its, and popcorn, though more essential living room items, such as TV remotes, have been found, as well.

I found a Hershey's Kiss futon crouton the other day in my Ikea couch. Gave it a sniff to make sure there was no stank and I popped that motherfucker in my mouth.

by Dang Lin Wang LXIX November 11, 2016

ignorant crouton

lacking knowledge or information as to a small piece of fried or toasted bread, sometimes seasoned, used as a garnish for soups, salads, and other dishes.a particular subject or fact

Excuse me sir, but i can't help but notice how much of an ignorant crouton you are.

by Wolfie SiriusBlack February 13, 2015

Soggy Crouton

The act of soaking your balls in salad dressing before forcefully inserting them into your girl's ass while screaming at the top of your lungs "WELCOME TO THE HIDDEN VALLEY!"

I hope my girl gets here soon because I've been basting my balls in this dressing all day and I can't wait to give her the soggy crouton

by FittyTucker July 12, 2016

crouton

The drummer of the band Family Force 5

Man, Crouton's one awesome drummer.

by MooMonster June 28, 2007

Crouton Savage

A person who insidiously steals your croutons from your ever so delicious Caesar salad. Along with croutons, they also tend to steal those awesome tasty chunks of parmasean. These beings will go to extreme measures just to take your croutons, usually they will stab you with their fork in the process, but the barbaric extremities vary based on who the savage is.

Jimmy: Dude hide your salad right now!
Paul: What why?
Jimmy: Because Kimmy's coming over here!
Paul: I don't--
Jimmy: Hurry up and do it Paul!
Paul: (hides salad) Why?
Jimmy: she's crouton savage. (Lifts sleeve to show scars). That's why.
Paul: is that from a fork?

by CouldntDecide December 18, 2014

ASS CROUTON

the clinging of fecal residue and toilet paper fragments to one's anal hairs; a disgustingly deplorable condition that unequivocally creates a lack of hygiene in this unpleasantly moist and stinky cavity. More commonly referred to as "dingleberries," or fartleberries."

With the amount of ass croutons that I was packing, you could have tossed quite a salad down there! Only problem was, I wished my girlfriend would have used Ranch dressing instead of Italian!

by weave August 22, 2003