Antique Wood

an errection of a man over the age of sixty-five.

"That old fuck has a mad case of antique wood"

by The swagenator April 18, 2008

antique

To hit someone with a handful of flour while they are asleep, covering their heads. Results in the production of "nose muffins".

Let's antique his sleeping ass.

by Wade March 21, 2003

Antique

To pack a pulverized substance (preferably baby powder, corn starch, or flour) in ones butt crack and then fart in somebody's face

whoever falls asleep first is going to get antiqued for sure.

by Clevername16 January 11, 2016

antique farming eqipment

an old black man sitting at an bar, cotton picker slave

hey tony look at that antique farming eqipment sitting at the bar.

by swap donkey November 21, 2011

Antique Chandelier

A variation on the act referred to as the 'antique' method where tea-bagging is added mid throw so that the extra 'baggage' resembles an antique chandelier on the friends face.

" Woah dude, you just totally antique chandelier that dude... with your nuts."

"We should Antique Chandelier the Cro-Mag."

by Deadly Jerm January 21, 2009

Argentine Antique

When a man masturbates to gay porn and finishes on his own stomach then let's it dry to a crust like the patina on an antique.

Miguel couldn't wait to get home for a quick Argentine Antique before heading to the theatre.

by HenryBemis July 26, 2017

Wrong antique squirrel

A phrase to say when someone says a phrase wrong; a phrase to say if someone uses a phrase in the wrong context

That was the wrong antique squirrel.

by Skully X_X June 12, 2018