albertsons

Service first, second to none.

Lady: "Your store sucks & this bread was supposed to be 3 for a dollar not 2 for a dollar!"
Us: "You're so totally right ma'am. Please wait here while I smash myself in the nuts for you and while we're at it get one of my other employees to go check to see if you're right so we can save you those 33 cents that you oh so need."

by Steven H. May 31, 2005

Alberta Sober

To abstain from all drugs except marijuana, alcohol and cocaine.

“No thanks,” Dorien said as Cheefy pulled out the needles, “I’m Alberta sober this month!”

by Cheeefy January 11, 2022

Philly Alberto

The sexual action of freezing your dong in a snowstorm and then molly whopping the shit out of your side girl.

Yo bro, how was it with Darby last night.
Sick man, I gave her the old Philly Alberto.

by Urmomispoo69 January 29, 2019

Alberta

scenery wise, alberta looks like colordo, with the towering rockies in the west and flat plains in the east. edmonton and calgary are the 2 biggest cities, and they hate each other. alberta is the texas of canada. much more consevative than any other province, and sitting on oil riche$

alberta is rolling in the dough from their oil excavation.

by Provincial Mood January 6, 2008

Alberta speed limit

Commonly seen on highways, it is when someone drives 10-20 kilometers above the speed limit or more, depending on how much ice is on the road.

When not driving this limit the hundreds of drivers that pass you will look at you sternly or think you are crazy for driving too slow. If you are lucky enough you may even get the highway salute. Changing lanes without checking or signalling usually coincides with driving at this speed.

"Look at that jackass driving the Alberta speed limit! No wonder my insurance is 300 dollars more a month here."

"I got to get to Tim Hortons man. I'll be driving the Alberta speed limit to beat the rush."
"Had to do that yesterday so I wasn't late for work, but an alberta road block screwed me over."

"The Alberta speed limit makes trips from Red Deer to Edmonton feel like only an hour."
"It was only an hour dumbass, you were going 140."

by The Western October 29, 2010

Alberta Special

A large pickup truck that has a suspension lift. They are obnoxiously loud, and have smoke stacks on the back. Most likely has "Alberta Proud" stickers on the back window or the tailgate. Usually driven by inbred rednecks who like to zip through towns to see if it impresses their cousins.

Also a prime example of compensation...
Commonly seen across all of Alberta, especially small towns, like Westlock, AB

Cletus - Did you see John's new truck? I bet that'll finally get his Veronica to start dating him again.

George - It looks like shit, and sounds like shit though. It's just another dumb Alberta Special.

Cletus - Now listen here you city slicker, don't make fun of another mans truck, or I'll hunt you down with my big truck and put you on the wall with the rest of my prey.

John - But I thought your prey was family member's virginity.

by Shekels Galore July 5, 2017

Alberto

A person (usually of hispanic decent) who is very overly self-confident with woman and is a party animal who likes to dance but is also very attractive and athletic. This person also says some of the most ridicuous and dumb but funny statements at random times and loves to have fun. Most of all, this person is incredibly unpredictable and will use his athletic abilities to do dumbass but hilarious things.

I think he had alot to drink and is having a good time acting like a crazy mofo with the ladies. He sure is acting like an Alberto tonight.

by jorge iglesias November 8, 2009