A fictional character who is the figure head of the Christian faith. One of 4,200 religions here on planet earth. There is absolutely no historical evidence at all that he ever existed. None. Jesus didn't die on a cross as it is physically impossible to nail a human to a crucifix and that human defeat gravity. Jesus was not born without his father impregnating his mother, that is completely impossible and goes against anything science and medicine tells the human race today. Jesus and his cultists do not believe in science or medicine. Logic and common sense are also viewed as an attack on "faith" which allows his followers, especially here in the States of America, to cry and bitch about ANYONE who disagrees with their infantile bullshit. Jesus was invented so that Christians could control other humans, especially women. This is also a common thread in almost all religions which not only degrade women, it allows wars to be fought in his name killing millions of non combatants and blaming other religions for being somehow wrong. Catholics use Jesus to rape and sexually assault under age boys by the tens of thousands while their supposed conduit to "heaven" turns a blind eye to the cancer. They would rather murder women for getting an abortion than stop all of the pedophiles infesting their church. Jesus is also a grift for churches here in the States of America.
Soldier 1: Oh man, that was a close one! That almost hit me!
Soldier 2: Jesus fucking christ that was close!
Some zealot: Do you have Jesus in your heart?
Poor bastard: No it's blood. Who the fuck is Jesus?!
Joel Osteen: Jesus has a plan for you!
My asshole: Joel, go fuck yourself you goddamn Jesus grifter!!
Soldier 2: Jesus fucking christ that was close!
Some zealot: Do you have Jesus in your heart?
Poor bastard: No it's blood. Who the fuck is Jesus?!
Joel Osteen: Jesus has a plan for you!
My asshole: Joel, go fuck yourself you goddamn Jesus grifter!!
by Asymmetric shits for trump September 28, 2022
Get the Jesus mug.Jesus is a dumbass he likes Rylie but won’t admit it he has orange hair and looks like ginger overall he is in love with Rylie
by I do t know November 24, 2021
Get the Jesus mug.by Jahnutz August 3, 2024
Get the Jesus Piece mug.A phrase used when someone wants to share the love of Jesus Christ, it is important to use this phrase in the correct context as some may become offended.
I've seen a lot of sorry and disrespectful definitions so I thought I would do the phrase justice, I might get downvoted for this but as the scriptures say "If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you." (John 15:18-19).
I've seen a lot of sorry and disrespectful definitions so I thought I would do the phrase justice, I might get downvoted for this but as the scriptures say "If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you." (John 15:18-19).
by rayfire1234 October 10, 2024
Get the Jesus loves you mug.When a person believes someone (who won or didn't win the presidency, politicians in general) or some fairytale entity (jesus, the devil) is responsible for why their lives suck and bad things always happen to them and allow those entities to instill fear (fear of going to hell, fear of becoming "cattle breeding" by men if Trump wins etc). A true adult takes accountability and responsibility for their own life, outcomes, happiness, and as such creates the life they want without blaming anyone else. Blaming others keeps one in a state of being a child, sheeple, as they never grow up and are truly responsible for their own actions.
Better watch what you say to John Doe, he suffers Jesus Syndrome and will use it as ammunition to never do anything in life and swear you were the reason his entire life was ruined forever.
by GO DJ HaKa November 16, 2024
Get the Jesus Syndrome mug.by urfavhater November 22, 2021
Get the Jesus Hernandez C mug.by PotRoastLover21 December 19, 2021
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