A fictional character who is the figure head of the Christian faith. One of 4,200 religions here on planet earth. There is absolutely no historical evidence at all that he ever existed. None. Jesus didn't die on a cross as it is physically impossible to nail a human to a crucifix and that human defeat gravity. Jesus was not born without his father impregnating his mother, that is completely impossible and goes against anything science and medicine tells the human race today. Jesus and his cultists do not believe in science or medicine. Logic and common sense are also viewed as an attack on "faith" which allows his followers, especially here in the States of America, to cry and bitch about ANYONE who disagrees with their infantile bullshit. Jesus was invented so that Christians could control other humans, especially women. This is also a common thread in almost all religions which not only degrade women, it allows wars to be fought in his name killing millions of non combatants and blaming other religions for being somehow wrong. Catholics use Jesus to rape and sexually assault under age boys by the tens of thousands while their supposed conduit to "heaven" turns a blind eye to the cancer. They would rather murder women for getting an abortion than stop all of the pedophiles infesting their church. Jesus is also a grift for churches here in the States of America.
Soldier 1: Oh man, that was a close one! That almost hit me!
Soldier 2: Jesus fucking christ that was close!
Some zealot: Do you have Jesus in your heart?
Poor bastard: No it's blood. Who the fuck is Jesus?!
Joel Osteen: Jesus has a plan for you!
My asshole: Joel, go fuck yourself you goddamn Jesus grifter!!
Soldier 2: Jesus fucking christ that was close!
Some zealot: Do you have Jesus in your heart?
Poor bastard: No it's blood. Who the fuck is Jesus?!
Joel Osteen: Jesus has a plan for you!
My asshole: Joel, go fuck yourself you goddamn Jesus grifter!!
by Asymmetric shits for trump September 28, 2022
Get the Jesusmug. by Jahnutz August 3, 2024
Get the Jesus Piecemug. by Vice420 November 21, 2022
Get the Baby Jesus in a mangermug. When someone (usually from a southern state) is to poor to afford an abortion, so they take a cross and brutally beat the woman’s stomach in the name of the lord until nothing but gork comes out.
Me and sally couldn’t get our baby aborted by professionals, so we had billy do a southern Jesus tug.
by I have a PhD in words January 2, 2018
Get the Southern Jesus tugmug. 
João De Jesus is the most amazing person you'll ever meet, when he comes into your life he will be ur highest point and only take you higher. He has a 11 incher and going strong, He's caring and the sweetestperson you'll ever meet, curious about the world and all the cultures and histories and fucken smexxxxy in a hoodie. Has multiple pink florida shorts and even though he acts gay and retared he isn't ( the game part), he loles to work on himslef and fet better and gives back to the community, may or may not be racists, he comforts well and is understanding
He has a beautiful soul and a beautiful at of seeing life and will open u up so many new experiences, he will be the best thing that will ever happen to you.
He has a beautiful soul and a beautiful at of seeing life and will open u up so many new experiences, he will be the best thing that will ever happen to you.
Jack : " if João De Jesus was gay id hit that"
Bob : " nah he's just a little dyslexic, but he's the best person you'll ever know"
Bob : " nah he's just a little dyslexic, but he's the best person you'll ever know"
by He's my world March 27, 2024
Get the João De Jesusmug. This is the second part(I’m sorry if this is getting annoying)
2) Now, to prove that Christianity is the only true religion, we need to look at what other religions are doing. As far as we know every popular religion out there has included Jesus in some form or another.
Islam says he is a prophet.
Famous Buddhist teachers(like Dalaï Lama) say that Jesus Christ is also an enlightened like Buddha and lived previous lives.
Finally, a lot of Hindu scholars and political leaders see Jesus as acknowledge Jesus as either a Āchārya, Shadu, or Avatar(these are just to name a few. See more in Wikipedia “religious views of Jesus”).
With all this information we can say that Christianity is the only true religion, because every major religion venerates Jesus as a wise man whose words we can trust. And what are his words? They are “I am the way and I am the truth and I am the life”. You see, while Jesus has become part of every major religion, he also tells us that salvation can only be obtained through him. And as he himself states that “you can only get to the Father through me”. And who is the Father? His is god the Father from the Christian religion. Jesus is part of every religion and yet he tells us to only focus on one!
To whoever read this, thank you for your time. I hope this helps somehow
2) Now, to prove that Christianity is the only true religion, we need to look at what other religions are doing. As far as we know every popular religion out there has included Jesus in some form or another.
Islam says he is a prophet.
Famous Buddhist teachers(like Dalaï Lama) say that Jesus Christ is also an enlightened like Buddha and lived previous lives.
Finally, a lot of Hindu scholars and political leaders see Jesus as acknowledge Jesus as either a Āchārya, Shadu, or Avatar(these are just to name a few. See more in Wikipedia “religious views of Jesus”).
With all this information we can say that Christianity is the only true religion, because every major religion venerates Jesus as a wise man whose words we can trust. And what are his words? They are “I am the way and I am the truth and I am the life”. You see, while Jesus has become part of every major religion, he also tells us that salvation can only be obtained through him. And as he himself states that “you can only get to the Father through me”. And who is the Father? His is god the Father from the Christian religion. Jesus is part of every religion and yet he tells us to only focus on one!
To whoever read this, thank you for your time. I hope this helps somehow
by TrynaBeAesthetic+GoodStudent May 8, 2024
Get the Jesus Christmug.