club test

A test that determines if one's future significant other (e.g., future boyfriend/girlfriend) is a keeper. This is usually done on a date by bringing the subject (e.g., future significant other) to a club where he/she is supposedly to get hit on by other suitors.

If the subject welcomes & accepts advances by other suitors and completely ignores his/her date, the subject is said to have failed the test. This test happens in both straight and gay communities; though, it's more prevalent in the latter.

=======
Friend: So how did the club test go for your future boyfriend, Trevor?

You: He failed badly. We went to this club last Friday night, and a hot blonde started talking to us. Trevor very much welcomed the newcomer's presence to the point that he asked me to watch their drinks for a minute.

Friend: Damn, what a douche.

You: Yep. The club test surely revealed that he's a very low-quality BF material. Ain't nobody got time for that.

by amazingjay April 23, 2013

The lift test

The act of attempting to lift a member of the opposite sex to check for sexual compatibility ie "If you can't lift it, you can't shift it".

Put my back out last night attempting the lift test

by El burno July 31, 2009

Note-In Tests

When one takes a bubble in test (preferably a scantron) and can only think about how hard that song would be on guitar hero.

"Blimey this would be a
hard song on expert" John

"Yeah bitch I couldn't due it on hard" Rick

"Stop cheating rick" Teacher

"Sorry mam his Note-In tests is a beast come take a gander"

a
b
a
d
c
e
a
e
d
c
a d
b e
c
c
"Good crimany you are right"

by Udstanence January 8, 2009

Roofie Test

A test that you t hought you did well on, but it secretly fucked you without your knowledge

Man, I thought I aced that test, but turns out it was a roofie test all along.

by Puay November 9, 2017

low test

Low testosterone male.

Slang used on 4chan

"Kek, what a faggot. Low test"

by CirclejerkMaster69 March 2, 2022

The Hawking Test

"The Hawking Test" is a way of settling any debate over whether or not an activity qualifies as a sport (i.e. chess, NASCAR, cheerleading, etc.). When debating, take a step back and ask yourself "could Stephen Hawking participate in this activity?" If the answer is yes, then that activity is definitely not a sport. If the answer is no, it can qualify as a sport.

While watching a commercial for World Series of Poker on ESPN -

You: "You know, I don't understand why poker keeps showing up on ESPN, it isn't even a sport."

Your Friend: "Poker definitely counts as a sport, it takes a lot of skill!"

You: "Come on man... poker doesn't even pass The Hawking Test. That man can play poker. Poker isn't a sport."

by OSUSmitty07 October 6, 2010

Onion test

A determination of whether a headline, in particular a ridiculous-sounding headline, would look out of place if reported by the comedy newspaper The Onion, which is known for 'reporting' fictional news stories frequently of the satirical or ridiculous variety.

"SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERTS SAY"? I don't think that passes the Onion test.

by Kaydiv April 21, 2011