Dumpster Mattress Blowjob

The act of receiving a less than stellar blowjob from some rando life coach behind a dumpster on top of a mattress after bar close.

Life Coach: Hi dude I never met before 10 minutes ago! Want to cuddle on this perfectly good mattress that was thrown away?
Dude: Ummm, ok.

(Both lie down together)
Life Coach: Want to make out?
Dude: Sure why not?
(Proceed to make out)
Dude: Hey you're not bad with your tongue.
Life Coach: You have no idea! Would you like a dumpster mattress blowjob!?
Dude: Yolo

by Cockopotomous January 10, 2018

Squaddie Mattress

A female who like to have sexual intercourse with squaddies.
Usually have sexual intercourse in bushes and old mattress in woods.

Originated in front of McDonald’s

‘ She’s a right squaddie mattress’

by Squaddie2479 January 18, 2018

Fast Mattress

Getting laid as fast as possible.

If you want some fast mattress you gotta use Tinder.

by jSalty January 12, 2019

snow mattress

The layer of snow on the roof of a car or truck. They are seen when someone drives around having failed to remove it from the top of their car/truck and can slide off and hit people or other vehicles. snow, snow storm, ice, blizzard, cars, trucks, road, highway, ice scraper, mattress

I got pummeled by a driver’s snow mattress while I was walking down the street yesterday.

by joecoolthefool January 14, 2019

Raw mattress

Mattress without any sheets or blankets.

Why are you sleeping on a raw mattress?

Look at this truck driver, he is sleeping on a raw mattress.

by Teacher C March 24, 2019

Jock-mattress

A girl that constantly sleeps with a guy(or guys) that are jocks

She’s still sleeping with him, what a jock-mattress

Shut up, jock-mattress

by Mrsknoxoverstreet October 31, 2020

foam mattress

The best type of mattress hands down. Much superior to spring mattresses. Nothing can compare to a foam mattress when it comes to comfort. However when you buy a foam mattress you are also making the statement that sexy time isn't reserved in the bed anymore, this is more of a pro than a con really (vanilla sex = booorinng).

Jane and dane decided to get a foam mattress and did not regret it one bit. However it was impossible to fuck on it, so they did it on the floor instead.

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian May 7, 2021