4 definitions by Cockopotomous
The act of receiving a less than stellar blowjob from some rando life coach behind a dumpster on top of a mattress after bar close.
Life Coach: Hi dude I never met before 10 minutes ago! Want to cuddle on this perfectly good mattress that was thrown away?
Dude: Ummm, ok.
(Both lie down together)
Life Coach: Want to make out?
Dude: Sure why not?
(Proceed to make out)
Dude: Hey you're not bad with your tongue.
Life Coach: You have no idea! Would you like a dumpster mattress blowjob!?
Dude: Yolo
Dude: Ummm, ok.
(Both lie down together)
Life Coach: Want to make out?
Dude: Sure why not?
(Proceed to make out)
Dude: Hey you're not bad with your tongue.
Life Coach: You have no idea! Would you like a dumpster mattress blowjob!?
Dude: Yolo
by Cockopotomous January 10, 2018
A friend who always has to have the last word in a conversation, even if you agree with them. Can also be known to obsess over the Lollapalooza concert they went to 3 years ago.
Blake: Can you shut up and stop talking after everything I say!? You're being a real Brady right now.
Jon: Care!
Jon: Care!
by Cockopotomous January 10, 2018
Someone who gets too drunk on the weekends then complains about how work is gonna suck tomorrow. Also known to put ho's before bro's and never takes his anytime shots from the bets that he loses.
Brian: Damn, Brady. I drank too much on a Sunday. Ugh, work is gonna suck tomorrow.
Brady: Care! Don't be such a fucking Kirk about it.
Brady: Care! Don't be such a fucking Kirk about it.
by Cockopotomous January 10, 2018
When one drinks too much on the weekend and then realizes before they go to sleep that work is going to suck tomorrow.
Also is known to put hoes before bros.
Also is known to put hoes before bros.
Steve: Dude it's Sunday. You're drinking way too much and kirking yourself for the rest of the week.
Brian: Ugh work is gonna suck tomorrow.
Brian: Ugh work is gonna suck tomorrow.
by Cockopotomous January 13, 2018