Jesus's Army are a peaceful Christian organisation who usually drive around to their religious gatherings in rainbow or multi coloured vehicles usually dilapidated vans or mini buses. Jesus's Army love to spread the word of our Lord and Saviour through rustic songs acapella style or often led by tambourine's, maracas,spoons and entry level guitar playing.
Unfortunately due to Jesus's Army only feeling love and seeing good in their fellow man they can often fall foul of being abused by drunken thugs who will initially express a real interest in turning their sad lives around with Jesus's help only to blag free rides to their next watering hole and further cementing their own place in Hell.
Unfortunately due to Jesus's Army only feeling love and seeing good in their fellow man they can often fall foul of being abused by drunken thugs who will initially express a real interest in turning their sad lives around with Jesus's help only to blag free rides to their next watering hole and further cementing their own place in Hell.
Dave we've drank and gambled all our money on fruit machines. We literally only have enough for 4 more pints each with no cash machine visits available and we still need to get home with no money for a taxi.
Fear not there is some rainbow coloured van there with a heavy smell of marijuana and Christian love exuding from it. That is definitely Jesus's Army and if we tell them we are interested in signing up and turning our lives around with the help of the Lord I think we can blag a lift.
Fear not there is some rainbow coloured van there with a heavy smell of marijuana and Christian love exuding from it. That is definitely Jesus's Army and if we tell them we are interested in signing up and turning our lives around with the help of the Lord I think we can blag a lift.
by Another pseudonymal August 05, 2022
When you have tickets to a game in the nosebleeds, but they're really far from the court/field high up in the stadium, which is why they're called Jesus seats since you're so high up you can see Jesus.
by It's that dude June 13, 2020
by AyyyePappi101 August 03, 2017
A phrase from a spoken short story which aired on This American Life from May 22, 1998. A woman stranded in the town of Paw Paw, MI finds the owner of a gas station very unhelpful. She recalls seeing the sign outside a church as she came into town, which proclaimed "Paw Paw for Jesus." She is angry the woman won't help her and starts shouting "Paw Paw for Jesus" to remind her of her Christian duty.
Paw Paw for Jesus!
by annmartina May 07, 2024
A phrase from a spoken short story which aired on This American Life, May 22, 1998. A woman stranded in the town of Paw Paw, MI (It's near Dowagiac, don't cha know) finds the owner of a gas station very unhelpful. She recalls seeing the sign outside a church as she came into town, which proclaimed "Paw Paw for Jesus." She is angry the woman won't help her and starts shouting "Paw Paw for Jesus" to remind her of her Christian duty but becomes slightly obsessed with the phrase.
Paw Paw for Jesus!
by annmartina May 07, 2024
If your priest is a fat fuck call him a chunky Jesus
Any fat Jesus worshippers are called chunky Jesus servants
Any fat Jesus worshippers are called chunky Jesus servants
Person 1:yo yo yo look are priest is a fat bitch
Person 2: lol it’s called a chunky Jesus Carl get your facts right
Person 2: lol it’s called a chunky Jesus Carl get your facts right
by Yummy nut February 20, 2019
Used to describe when something was terrible. Can be used for awkward social interactions, bad-tasting food, an event that was a total let down, or when you have to give great customer service to a total asshole.
*you escape from an awkward social interaction where everyone was struggling and failing miserably to make conversation*
"Man, that tasted like Jesus."
*person eats something rotten*
"Ew! " *spits out food* "Dont eat that, that shit tastes like Jesus!"
"Man, that tasted like Jesus."
*person eats something rotten*
"Ew! " *spits out food* "Dont eat that, that shit tastes like Jesus!"
by Someplace Dude February 29, 2016