douche bag

A human being who commits an atrocity such as stealing someone's life work and calling it their own. These douche bags tend to laugh at others misfortunes, or even worse, create the others misfortunes. It is often that douche bags steal from others that are not well known, but brilliant minds, who end up dying alone and talking to a laser beam pigeon in the mean time.

Edison: Hey, ah, Tesla, you're pretty smart, right?

Tesla: Yeah, I guess.

Edison: I'll pay you the equivalency of 1 million dollars if you fix my fucked up DC generators and motors.

Tesla agrees and does all of the work

Tesla: Done

Edison: HAHAHA TESLA YOU DON'T AMERICAN HUMOR YOU FOREIGN FUCK.

Tesla: .... douche bag.

by nakedsarah May 8, 2013

Douche

A small-minded, dim-witted person in need of guidance.

1. Hey Douche, are you able to get me to the hospital.
2. Isn't he such a Douche, he can't even locate a woman's vage.

by JacoX May 5, 2009

Douche bag

A douche bag is a man who has a very high, undeserved, self esteem and confidence. Typically, douche bags also have a high opinion of their personal apperance, whether it is deserved, or not. (Inspired by Family Guy).

1. A dumb woman says "I hope I can smooch a cute Douche Bag in this night club tonight". (Source: Occupation Double, reality tv show.)

2. A douche bag will never understand that he is a douche bag. Or he will interpret as a compliment.

by Bob Gratton 69 December 1, 2022

Douche nap

1.The act of falling asleep when you are in t
he middle of having sex.
2.the act of falling out when your in the middle of fucking.

Man I fucked the old lady so much last night I had to take a douche nap.

by Dee (snap) anderson October 31, 2022

the sexiest strawberry scented douche in America

Pedro Martinez

Pedro Martinez is the sexiest strawberry scented douche in America

by SA Panther August 25, 2023

douche-spanked

when you get verbally abused by another adult for being a major douche

I ate at a restaurant the other night, the waiter pulled me aside and douche-spanked me for leaving a $1 tip

by tjdabomb August 29, 2011

Douche canoe

An overboard term used to describe one who has only reached a standard level of douchyness. If one who has only reached the basic douche level is called a douche canoe, this person would consider it to be an insult. Upon being called a douche canoe, this person would likely become upset & act irrational. At this point, that person would have reached douche canoe standards & you will be justified in calling that person a douche canoe.

I.E. "i dumped my girlfriend because she was a real douche. After we broke up, she went all out "douche canoe."

by argonforrest October 22, 2014