A Parker

To bail on a scheduled event to "chill" with your gf/bf. Usually ending in intercourse in "undignified" places leaving traceable material behind and not returning to such scheduled events.

Parker: Hey Maggie just called she's about an hour away and wants me to go have McDonald's with her
Jason: You coming back?
Parker: Maybe
Dave: lets get high
Deniz: Parkers pulling "A Parker"
Marc: TAKE YOUR KEYS!

by Crooked08 February 12, 2008

drew parkerd'

The act of sewing your penis into a woman's vagina while she salivates heavily and complains about how much her life sucks. Satisfaction is never achieved and this is an incredibly painful and possibly fatal process. No one should drew parker anyone else, and whoever it is named after should kill themselves for inventing such an awful act. Also referred to as dping, drewpying, and fatality intercourse.

Man: Hey baby you wanna get drew parkerd'?
Woman: If you ask me that again I will castrate you.
Man:.....do you promise?

News Reporter: Today we honor the 20 victims of the drew parkering orgy that happened in this convention center. We should remember that drew parkering is a fucked up process invented by the devil himself in a twisted plot to kill all mankind. Fuck whoever invented this move, fuck you drew parker!

by guitarbanjo1994 September 16, 2010

softcore parkour

Not really parkour, but walking over chairs/tables to get to where you need to be, usually very slowly.

Jim: Dude, can you move the chairs? I need to leave the room to make a phone call.
Tim: Softcore parkour! Climb over shit.
Jim: I guess that's my only option.

by pageofspace October 4, 2013

Parker

Parker: Parker is cool, funny, athletic, and has a great personality! He is normally a very cute guy, and cares about another person's feelings. Since Parker is an athletic kind of guy, he often plays sports like football, soccer or maybe even basketball or baseball. He makes a great boyfriend and cares about his and only his girl! Don't mess with him or his girl! Parker's normally date girls of the opposite hair/eye color finding them more attractive! Most Parkers even date girls with specific names like Emily, Jessica, Madison, Sarah etc. Parker's also love to hang with their best guy friends and need some guy time every so often!

Girl 1: Dang, who is that cutie over at that lunch table?

Girl 2: Oh, that's Parker! I have history with him, he isn't the brightest, but he's really funny!

by NamePredictor01 August 31, 2013

parking

To engage in sexual acts in a parked car.

Brad was too cheap to spring for a hotel, so we went parking at Lover's Lane.

by Mystie March 27, 2005

Parking Lot Theory

"Women are like parking spaces: The good ones are always taken."

The theory that when unsure of whether or not a woman is single, that the likelihood of her being taken is directly correlated to how desirable she is.

Guy 1: I'm pretty interested in her but I'm not sure if she's seeing someone already.
Guy 2: A girl like her? Parking Lot Theory says you're too late.

by icaruswings September 8, 2004

parker

A mountain man. a very good looking dude. super sweet and nice. he may stare at you and seem to be in love with you; but you may never know. awesome in every way. very athletic such as rock climbing, skiing, speedflying, surfing, hunting, etc. ....but he never sticks around to tell you his real feelings if they were ever there?

parker is gone? is parker a chicken at heart? man or mouse?

by namemyname May 19, 2020