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Jesus

What if Jesus was a fat guy with curly/bushy and dark hair, but nobody knows it because they always see a skinny guy with fair hair that looks like a Northern European in a stained glass window at a church? What if the church wanted the image that would draw in the most money, instead of the true image, isn't that a possibility?
Nobody was alive back when Jesus was, so he might have been a fat guy with curly/bushy hair that looks nothing like what people usually see at church.
by Solid Mantis February 12, 2021
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus Syndrome

When a person believes someone (who won or didn't win the presidency, politicians in general) or some fairytale entity (jesus, the devil) is responsible for why their lives suck and bad things always happen to them and allow those entities to instill fear (fear of going to hell, fear of becoming "cattle breeding" by men if Trump wins etc). A true adult takes accountability and responsibility for their own life, outcomes, happiness, and as such creates the life they want without blaming anyone else. Blaming others keeps one in a state of being a child, sheeple, as they never grow up and are truly responsible for their own actions.
Better watch what you say to John Doe, he suffers Jesus Syndrome and will use it as ammunition to never do anything in life and swear you were the reason his entire life was ruined forever.
by GO DJ HaKa November 16, 2024
mugGet the Jesus Syndromemug.

Jesus

A Guy that has a cult about him and his father.
Jesus is going to turn your semen into wine
by The Bitch of Sin December 29, 2024
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Crusty for Jesus

Having such deep passion for the lord that the only way to function is through the divine process of crusting oneself. The back pressure from clenching your butt cheeks hard enough together is a good starting point.
When a spenkwich is sad, he gets crusty for Jesus
by Fingaboi1996 May 7, 2024
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Jesus loves you

A phrase used when someone wants to share the love of Jesus Christ, it is important to use this phrase in the correct context as some may become offended.

I've seen a lot of sorry and disrespectful definitions so I thought I would do the phrase justice, I might get downvoted for this but as the scriptures say "If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you." (John 15:18-19).
-Hi, how has your day been
-Not very good
-Oh, I hope it gets better, Jesus loves you.
-Thank you
by rayfire1234 October 10, 2024
mugGet the Jesus loves youmug.

The Pharisees hated Jesus because he told them the truth.

A way of saying "You know I'm right" when someone gets angry at you for speaking the truth. According to scripture, the Pharisees were a group of Jewish elders in Judea (the name of Israel under Roman occupation) who took every chance they could get to catch Jesus and his disciples lacking.
Virgin Woke Urbanist: Amtrak is bad! travel cross-country by air! Or on a Greyhound bus!

Chad Nerd: Actually, there's nothing wrong with Amtrak, and aside from Greyhound, they were picking up the slack during the recent airline meltdowns.

VWU: NO! SHUT UP! THAT'S NOT TRUE!

CN: The Pharisees hated Jesus because he told them the truth.
by Stupidly Sophisticated January 15, 2023
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jesus

Jesus is him
by babywyd August 31, 2024
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