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wax merchant

Somebody who waxes (mastubates) alot and other people for a price.
michael is such a wax merchant, and he only charges 19.95
by GM September 10, 2003
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Power mad misery merchant

Someone who's happy when you're miserable and who survives by peddling you news or junk that makes you even more miserable and depressed
look no further that a predatory capitalist to be a power mad misery merchant
by Sexydimma October 4, 2024
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Smear Merchants

"Directing hate because they can't deliver on their politics." Beautiful! Absolutely beautiful!
Hym "That's correct! That is exactly what you are! You are completely capable of understanding what this is. And WHO is incapable of delivering on their politics? Did you take all of the billionaires money? Is healthcare free? You are obfuscating the degree to which my grievance is legitimate and refusing to talk about it to deny me my recourse."

A retard (who fucks) "He should have to regret threatening my kids!"

Hym "I don't. I actually can't wait for them to die. The second (and I mean the very instant) your kids die... You will see EXACTLY how right I am. You put the lives of your children in the hands of 'smear merchants' who are acting in bad faith and they are doing the exact opposite of what they should have done. Up to 20% of all schizophrenia patients. It's just gaslighting for the explicit purpose of ruining my life. I don't care that I threatened your kids NOR DO I HAVE TO. You do not have the right to do this to people in the name of your kids and NOW it's just going to have to be someone else's kids. This did nothing to protect the one and you'll do nothing to protect the other. It doesn't matter what the data says. The data doesn't decide whether or not your kids die. Do yourself a favor and stop ASKING these YouTube smear merchants."
by Hym Iam January 8, 2025
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Conclusion merchant

Negative term for a character (usually fictional) in which the only compelling part of their storyline is its conclusion. Popularized by the great minds hard at work in mediatok.
Guy 1 (awesome, full of life and vigor): Lelouche has W themes and philosophies but he's lowkey a conclusion merchant.
Guy 2 (moron narcissist, possibly evil too): Trying to categorize everything you enjoy like this is reductive and stupid.
by bippitybopman23 August 13, 2025
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Tap in merchant

A "tap in merchant" is a football(soccer) player who scores a large number of goals by getting into easy-to-reach positions to score a "tap-in," which is a goal scored with minimal effort from close range and also lacks other skills, such as dribbling, playmaking, or a good first touch, relying only on being in the right place to score
Cristiano Ronaldo only scores tap ins and penalties he’s a tap in merchant
by David_5 September 21, 2025
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Turmeric Merchant

"Go back where you came from you damn Turmeric Merchant"
by DJSSJ4 November 5, 2025
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if-else merchant

A joking or mildly insulting way to describe a programmer who relies heavily on long chains of if / else statements instead of using better programming structures.
This codebase was clearly written by an if-else merchant — it’s just nested conditionals all the way down.
by ŠibucaNiggi November 5, 2025
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