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Jesus

A guy named Jesus has many talents and is really good at being a dick when needed. But if you leave him alone, he can be a great friend, partner and lover. But the moment you push his buttons he’ll give you hell.
Someone-Why haven’t you done this?

Jesus- bitch mind your own business.
by Sausage! My ass!. November 23, 2021
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Luke Jesus

A man who has people around him constantly saying he has a massive penis, whether he does or not.
Awesome Lesbian: You see that Blue Yeti microphone? Yeah that's the size of Luke Jesus penis.
by thebsb July 26, 2020
mugGet the Luke Jesusmug.

Jesus Mojica

Fiend ass mothafucka that likes to fuck bitches named MANMEET. he is a gay ass mothafucka and likes getting butt fucked.
JESUS MOJICA JUST GAVE ME HEAD.
by MANMEERRR December 13, 2023
mugGet the Jesus Mojicamug.

Jesus's Army

Jesus's Army are a peaceful Christian organisation who usually drive around to their religious gatherings in rainbow or multi coloured vehicles usually dilapidated vans or mini buses. Jesus's Army love to spread the word of our Lord and Saviour through rustic songs acapella style or often led by tambourine's, maracas,spoons and entry level guitar playing.
Unfortunately due to Jesus's Army only feeling love and seeing good in their fellow man they can often fall foul of being abused by drunken thugs who will initially express a real interest in turning their sad lives around with Jesus's help only to blag free rides to their next watering hole and further cementing their own place in Hell.
Dave we've drank and gambled all our money on fruit machines. We literally only have enough for 4 more pints each with no cash machine visits available and we still need to get home with no money for a taxi.
Fear not there is some rainbow coloured van there with a heavy smell of marijuana and Christian love exuding from it. That is definitely Jesus's Army and if we tell them we are interested in signing up and turning our lives around with the help of the Lord I think we can blag a lift.
by Another pseudonymal August 5, 2022
mugGet the Jesus's Armymug.

Jesus Hernandez C

literally so h0t just ask me out already

hint - my zodiac starts with a a
by urfavhater November 22, 2021
mugGet the Jesus Hernandez Cmug.

Satanic Jesus

Jesus with horns, a pitchfork and a devil's tail adorned with a crown of thorns. He has a shepherd's crook and a pentagram necklace. Ruler of Hellven. He walks on cloven hoof. You must forgive him for everybody's sins since he's taking responsibility for them.
"The rod and the staff of Satanic Jesus is the comforting key to eternal salivation!"
by ANOTHERDEADROMEO April 27, 2023
mugGet the Satanic Jesusmug.

Jesus cable

A Jesus cable is a cable that will likely cause death, fire or an explosion, like a 220V to USB-C cable.
Mate A: Don't plug that one in.
Mate B: Why?
Mate A: It's a Jesus cable, you'll die if you do.
by SmokeAlt2EveryDay August 21, 2023
mugGet the Jesus cablemug.

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