Dirty Chris

When a girl is sexually teasing you but claims she doesn't have the time to actually have the time to do it right now because she has something important to do in a few minutes ... So you flip her on her side, pull her pants down just enough to stick it in, pump for about 30 seconds then pull out of her vagina, immediately stick just the head of your cock in her ass and fill it with cum leaving her to clinch the newly deposited load inside of her rectum while she goes and completes whatever pressing task she needs to do.

Dude, Sarah kept messing with me but was like "Oh no we don't have time, my boyfriend's on his way and he'll be here any minute" so I gave her a dirty Chris! Bitch had just sit in her boyfriend's car for half an hour just clenching it!

by Chrisanova December 8, 2025

Flag

Get the Dirty Chris mug.

Chris

A knobhead who hates pink footballs.

For Christmas we got Chris a pink football just to wind him up—he took one dramatic pause, muttered ‘absolutely not,’ and tried to volley it over the neighbours fence.

by nikmister December 10, 2025

Flag

Get the Chris mug.

The Chris Ben0it

A carefully curated pre-flight cocktail consisting of a Xanax, a hydrocodone, and a Jack and Diet Coke. Taken 45 minutes before boarding to ensure you don’t care about turbulence, crying babies, or the fact that your seat doesn’t recline.

Side effects include sudden patience, emotional detachment, and the belief that every landing was “actually pretty smooth.

• “He said he was ‘fine to fly’ but ordered a Jack and Diet Coke at 7 a.m. That’s when I knew the Chris Ben0it was in play”

• “I don’t remember takeoff, turbulence, or landing. All I know is I used the Chris Ben0it and now I’m at baggage claim holding a pretzel.”

by The Rabid Wolverine. December 19, 2025

Flag